我们的故事

用时光轴开启:1979.5.30 01:25

细数那些爱的细节——

握手时从手掌滑向手指再到指尖划过直至不得不分开的感觉;

第一次在度假屋,问我是否喜欢那个房子,我说喜欢。他搬凳子出来我们在外面看日落。我看日落他看我,突然对我说:”我可以握你的手吗?“我看着他,他继续说:”我想让你给我一些能量。“于是,我把右手递给他,他用双手握住我的手,然后闭上眼睛,就那样握了很久很久。我问他;”可以了吗?“他马上绅士地双手同时松开。然后他说:”我想拥抱你。“我默许,他拉着我的左手进屋,我右手还拿着水杯,进屋关上玻璃门,他帮我接过手里的水杯放在桌子上,然后紧紧地拥抱我,抚摸我的身体和头发。那是我第一次感受到拥抱的温暖,从未有过的温暖。”我喜欢你的头发,如此干净如此顺滑”,他说。我想吻你“,他继续说。这次,我坚决地说”no“,拥抱就已经足够了,他边说“远远不够”,边将他的唇从我的脖颈处滑向我的唇边,我感受到那从未有过的电流遍布全身,但理智还是让我在他的唇碰到我的嘴角时躲开。我再一次说拥抱就足够了,他深情地看着我的眼睛说”远远不够“,我从未见过那样炙热的眼神,我知道我无法抗拒那炙热的眼神,然后任由他温暖柔软的双唇印在我的唇上,接着舌尖的碰触,接着激烈的亲吻直到无法抗拒的法式舌吻,那是我此生第一次爱上接吻。我知道自己沦陷了!直到理智再一次让我将其推开。“你没有错,我们没有错”,他说,不要责怪自己。我们紧紧拥抱着彼此。我对他说我们都需要冷静冷静,然后带动他转现窗外。我说你看见天空的鸟儿的吗?他说你看他们是一对儿。我说今天过得很不真实,他说就像电影般梦幻,但主角却是我们。

当蛇出现在储物间时,第一时间拿着杆子和扫把将其放生了;

每次我着我的手玩我的手指的傻气;拥抱我时的呵护、用心、投入;亲吻时的冲动和激情、温柔和热情;做爱时的呵护和投入;逗我开心时的用心;

最开始不了解他的回避,沟通无效后小小锻炼惩罚后,他的在意,虽然带着Marko借以修壁炉把手过来,但仍在我们独处时,主动要拥抱,他张开双臂靠近,我后腿,他进一步我退一步,直至无处可退,他抱住我念念有词地说:”你从来没有这样过,从来没有不回信息,从来没有不理过我,你真是个傻瓜......“每一次的误会或不愉快他都能借以那个机会让我感到更深刻的爱。

第二次回避后打电话沟通,我说我透不过气,虽然他不擅长处理情绪也依然愿意与我电话沟通。我说了一通我我的想法,说我愿意向前,他却退缩了,我说我恨你,他却说”你不是恨我,你爱我,我也爱你“。这是五个月来他第一次说爱我,还是以这样的方式。

怕我害怕买防狼喷雾给我;

买眼药水回来,帮我滴,轻吻;

为了见他,要他帮我买A4纸,不仅买了纸,还买了6盒生火的燃料给我;

我把手指的奶油放进你的口中,你吮吸我的手指,然后吻我;

每次做完爱都不会沉睡,想方设法逗我开心,陪我聊天,温柔的拥抱轻吻,做鬼脸,玩幼稚;

当我吃你手上融化的雪糕不小心鼻子上又被沾到雪糕时,你用轻吻我鼻尖的方式吃掉了雪糕,我知道我们同一时间想到了同一件事:-);

帮我修理壁炉把手,灯泡;

和Marko穿得像水管玛丽一样抱着小木柴回来;帮我劈柴;

帮我运木头;每次回来都会检查壁炉和烟囱;嘱咐我要睡前检查壁炉;

帮我买面包和蔬菜;

帮我买药膏,轻轻涂抹,轻轻包扎;

做爱时挠你的痒痒肉,但每次都是你赢;

帮我轻轻触摸检查胳膊是否伤到骨头;

悄悄把手套放在CAFE的洗手间;

下车前要看着我把羽绒服的拉链拉好;

喂我吃心型饼干;

你尝了我做的巧克力,把”房子“房子口中融化然后吻我,喂我吃我做的心型巧克力继续吻我;

有机会就来看我,无论是否和Marko一起;只要你在,就绝不让我做重活;

在忙了很久以后,主动跟我沟通,也愿意反思,回我的信息,有时候甚至很快,也懂我的感受,让我们的关系更进了一步。

四目相对,我看见他放大的瞳孔,看见他的灵魂和他的爱

握着我的手,我问他这是什么意识,他走过来狠狠轻吻我的脖子,说已经习惯了吻我


2024:

26.8 weekend house hand.h.k

28.8 the 2nd time h&k

29.8 viber- I'm waiting f our future with joy

30.8 viber-I have a wish to hg u

31.8 Sava''s family gathering  day viber- take the shower, easy yo come at my place

1.9 BBQ and snake

2.9  the 1st ml

6.9 it will  be better if u r here and I have a wish to see u. 

do u want to see me? 

sure but u know it's not easy.

 yea I know but we can find a way.

I think time can fix everything

7.9  Ray want to leave and I want to find a monastery. 

If u need I can not come over there, I can do that f u 2. sorry f everything, maybe I push u more than u can, and make this situation f both of u

I will do anything  u want, just I wish for each of us to be happy

9.9 15:39  I wish to hug u now  2nd ms

what r u thinking about? I am thinking about u a me

13.9  9:25 Please text me when u come, we will see in cafe

                     ok.

            12:23 I ll be in cafe for about 10 min. I am here

                        ok , I be there later

            15:15 is everything ok?

            caf tear hak

15.9 thank u f giving me so many first experience

I ll do it f whole time u want to

17.9 middle autu-- ms& hu

22.9 table tennis

23.9  21:29  Im here

         thank u f your personality  and your willingness  to be here f me

        u r silly now

        who

        me

       we told everyone we r broken

      kiss

25.9   beach hug & cafe k

26.9    I just have a need to tell u I'm here to lock the cafe

            If u want to see me I can come

27.9   mace died @big hug in cafe

28.9    mace buried

29.9   mace buried 我开始锁cafe

1.10   HKML in caf

           20:39 I ll come over there for about 10 min

2.10 

6:43  dogs and cats r good ,they r waiting foe me at the door :-)  

         清晨照片,This morning in Medjuversja,do u sleep well ?

         8:18  loved an image. Morning ,yea, I sleep well. how about u ? u get up early every                 morning

        Morning , glad u sleep well, me as well. This morning is the latest got up for me:-D I will finish some writing this morning, see u later ,still miss u

12:55  Hi , The guy who install the AC well come over there for about an hour he said 

             I see ,thank u so much

中午H过来看了,然后去忙了

16:24  They r finished ,the solutin works ,but seems a little bit strange ,偷笑

                yea, definitely is strange

                lets find another solution. hows everything there in your place?

               ok , we will find some good solution. Its good at my place

               great! I think we still need lets cats and dogs out at night, cus they pee and pop                        everywhere, I will clean again after a while , and need to disinfect the place

              Yea, I know, but now its their territory now

              :-D :-D

21:31  If u r busy , I ll lock the door of cafe. expect  little yellow and one of cat stayed                   inside,     the others all came out. Maybe its not too cold tonight. I will go over to                    open the door tomorrow morning.dont worry , good night!

           Thank you! heart!

3.10  11:44      Hi , how are you feeling today?  

                            I 'm good ,u? I think u r busy, so I didnt msm u. I would rather u finish it as                                    soon as possible, then I can see u:-)

                          I m good , I m also happy to see you

             18:43  Maybe later today I got too  many things to do

                         Its ok, just deal with your stuff first. Ray told me u came before, I guess u were busy , I know that:-), dont worry about me, always support you! If u dont have time to come, let me know and I can lock the door of cafe. I d rather you got more time to have some rest

                        Thanks again. I ll write u later if I can come.

                20:18 I must ask you to lock the cafe. I cant come ,sorry, Thank u !

                            ok , Dont be too late , sleep earily if u can. good night

                            I ll try. Thank for thinking about me

                           u r welcome

4.10   7:19  hope u slept well, I deeply understand how difficult it is  for a person to accomplish everything. The only thing I can do is to support you silently. Just focus on your stuff , I allow you miss me occasionally .heart!

I was alone in the cafe last night. Ray was very emotionally unstable cus of the new moon and lunar eclipse. I needed to be alone, but it was raining outsaid and I had nowhere to go. But its ok,  dont worry about me. I ve been facing this situation for 22years and nothing is a problem for me. I just made a wish. as a child of th universe, he always fulfills all my wishes. everything will be fine.

          11:07  u ok now?

                       ok, dont worry about me

                      I m going to give u a key of the falt just in case cus this situation,u can sleep over there. how is now ?

                         nonono, I tlod u that just cus I need to tell u I came last night ,thats your place.Its will be mess in that way maybe, I must face that situation

Please ,dont worry about that. u need to rest when is situation like that

we r both ok now ,dont worry.No thats not good, I can deal with it ,trust me. I ll have some rest later

ooo, there is one key of the flat in cafe, I m show you

I know u r good f me, but I cant take it, and I wont

Please u can not be without sleep and its cold at night

its ok now, I can deal with it ,trust me

There is no way to be like that in the future

ok, I know and I trust u!

 Thank u ! deal with your stuff now, dont worry about me

But u must have a bakeup for the future situation

 I m used to, thats why I want to find some monastery

I check my message, I made a mistake, I didnt stayed in cafe a whole night, just a little period tme ,dont worry

 How long that can be when he is emotionally unstable?

often,  sometimes, I just need  a space to stay by myself, but I can figure it out,  I mean it

Please dont worry about anything just dont let when is happen again to be in some stiation that not good for u,Please. We have solutions

I get used to... and we r seprareated now, it will be ok,dont worry about me, I want to take a snap now。。。

ok, we talking about everything later

just for your stuff first, Im really ok now ,dont worry

ok heart!

21:27  I ve closed the door, they all out, dont worry, only yellow want to stay I let it sray

5.10    10:39 Hi there how are you

         11:44 I m ok,u?

         I m fine , dont worry about me, take care of yourself please. I m here for everythig you need, I ll come over there later today.

ok :-) :-)

6.10     13:38 Hi,how are you? I m sorry I didnt come there yesterday

              It doesnt matter. I understand u and everything.That s why I didnt want to bother u. I also know that u trust me can take good care of the cafe and the cats and dogs.【heart】

I m good and all I need is that u take good care of yourself too, otherwise I ll be so sad. Although u r my superman, even so u still need to rest and restore energy.  I ll alse take good care of myself in order not to worry u

I have some stuff to do

 Just go ahead, all the best!

I miss u!

Finish your stuff quickly then :-) heart

I fell asleep with the heart of dreaming of you, and wake up with a heart that wants to see you everyday. When I think of u, I am satisfied, when I see u  , I m so happy. Thats enough for me

8.10  Tues.

7:39 Morning [sun],did u sleep well?

8:58 Mornig , yea , but I have a little bit temperature

Oh, did u take some medcine?I want to see u now, I can bring something to u. I knew u r so tired to got a ill :-(

If u need anything let me know. I m here for u and for us. dont worry about me I ll be fine

Take your time I am here

I knew it [heart] see u later, I will message u

12:03  去市区买了药,带了吃的,在修道院度过了一会欢乐时光Take a nap if u got chance at noon. I m in town around 14:30 . and I ll waiting for u at the monastery which w r passing by maybe before 15:00, until u come to meet me【修道院照片】

15:40 Im in the monastery now. take your time, I m waitng f u here

ok , I l come for about 7 mins

Just come in, I m work here:-)

yea, its ok . Just finish what u have.Its not a problem I ll wait u here

 soon

ok, take your time for everything u do there 

 8.10 Wed

Don't eat if u don't feel hungry. if u r hungry, dont eat cheese,egg, milk and meat recently.If u could boiled some vegetables with bread, it would help u recover soon.Most important thing is much plenty of warm lemon water,VC and sleep

I  ll thank u for thinking about me.  I sent u something on viber

18:40 sorry , I thought u were sleeping so I didnt check my phone.

No ,thank you for your existence, my superman.The universe let u be myside is the luckiest and happiest thing in my life. Thank u light up mu life. 

How I wish to be your side to take care of you! If u can , please tell me your condition at any time, we can adjust according to the current situationg. I ll always behind u. I ll do my best to cherish and appreciate every moment with u 【heart】

9.10 Thur 10:14

Hey, h r u feeling? did u sweat last night? is the leg pain relieved a little bit?

Hey, I m bit better I dont have pain in legs but mu nosis not very well

h r u?

I m good ,thats great!will u still work at your house today? if so ,dont too tired please, u still need enough rest

Drink another Chinese medicine before u sleep. whatever day and night , and each day one tabelt vc, still dring more and more ,h about throat?still sore?

Thank u, the throat is good too

nice , u r really a superman,keep warm , dont let your ankle getting cold, if u need sth, tell me anytime, I am always be here f u 【heart】

9.10 Fri  20:24

Take another Chinese medcine at tonight or midnight , sleep tight!

10.10  Sat. 9:40

Hi, I am little bit better, tired a bit but ok, h r u?

I am good , how about nose and pain?

nose is still little bit not good but I dont have pain

really ? thats great!what did u eat?

I eat soup and bread

great! I d like to made some porridge for u if u like. or, if u want to eat sth. else just let me know,please. and , I ll take sth f release your nose , if u r convenient

I ll come over there later and we can talk everything ,Thank u

ok , see u later

12:08  tell me before u come ,cus I need some time to prepare sth

ok

18:14

Hi.. I m planing to come over there for about 15-20min

ok.

arrived?

no, Im on the way

Take your time

I am here

u do so much for me. and what I can do for u?

All I need is u be healthy, be happy forever!!

12.10 Mon   8:19 

Moring 【偷瞄】h r u? Sorry I m not writing anything yesterday, I am fine much better.

          Morning ! u dont need to say :sorry" . gald to hear that u r ok

         h r u? 

         same as usual.

         Must be much more better than that... u deserve to be happy and healthy forever and forever , I miss u so much!

       Thanks ,u too.well , come to see me when u totally got time,then

         yea ,I will

        All the best!

13.10  15:41 Tues

Hi,there, h r u? 

Hi, I m at beach, hru? did u sleep earier recently?

I m at home, I m sleep better than usual

Thats great! I was thinking about u ,and then I received your messgae

 But I think maybe its better to visit a doctor tomorrow

why?whats the problem?

call me please

13.10 Fri 20:09

Hey, hope u werent getting worse. go to bed early. I ll always be here pray foru. bless u , suppor u and mis u...if u want to eat sth such as vegetable porridge or soup... just let me know and I will prepare 2 hours before u come. Please feel free to tell me your situation ,hug and kiss u!

14.10  sat8:27

Morning

Morning,hru?did u go to see the doc?I want to go to the town today, if u r convenient, I want to bring sth to u, u dont need to come

I ll go later today. Thnak u ,but I dont know where I ll be ...[偷瞄]

Its ok, I ll tell u before 1 hour , I may go there aftrer noon. u like soup or porridge?or sth else?

Its ok for me , I ll eat anything you want 【haert】

u really speak nicely!:-):-) I ll contact u later

【haert】

I ll arrive to town around 15:20. u arrange the time and place meeting according to your situation

14:55 I m going to the town now, if u r busy , I can  go to the Roda  center first

16:48  I am done the stuff, hru feeling now? where to meet ,please?

17:51  hiii, sorry , I m slept, where r u?

在龙餐厅见面,然后接我送我回来。状态很不好,眼睛和脸都浮肿

15.10  Tues8:43 

Good morning!

morning!r u feeling better today?did homeopethy medcine help u a little bit?

come to se me  in beach, hug  in caf

11:25:I m doing well , but my nos still block

poor guy. big hug! hope all the best and watign f u come bake safey.did u successfully make the appointment with doc today?

17:09 HI , I make for tomorrow at 18:00. I m planning to come over there for abotu 15-20min

oh , h r u feeling now? ok, I got a little bit work, if I didint come, wating f me  f a min

ok, I ll send u a message when I get there

I finished, where r u?

But Ivan and Lubica is over there

去了湖边见面,和拥抱

16.10 Wed

8:10 moring , when I think of seeing u today, my mood is as beautiful as the sun today:-

):-:) 

9:15 morning better than yesterday 

I hug u!

I hug y ,kiss u , see u later

 17:25 

Hey, its gettig cold outside tonight, how about u go back to home after see the doc dirctly, please?I  dont want u get cold again.. just tell me how the doc said, is it ok?

18:28 i m still here at the doc, I m wating

           ok, we always need to wating doc,偷笑 eat some watm thing when u finis, and go back to have more rest

18:40  hows doc said?

             I m still here

            oh...I m meditating now, but u r full of my mind , I cant focus,偷笑

21:03 Hey,is everthing ok?

               yea, everything will be fine

                Thats good , good night

                  good night[kiss]

17.10 Thur.

7:29: morning, wish u feel better today mu superman, miss u , hug u and kiss u

10:08 Hi morning 【heart】 hug  kiss

            r u feeling better today?

            I started with this therapy . I hope it will be better soon

             What did doc say? is there any other problems besides the cold?

            He said it's bronchitis start, and he think is allergy

           oh, dont worry, I believe u will be better soon after the therapy

            yea, I think so

           well, which kind of allergy?didu check?

           He take my blood and we ll see

          oh... but u even didnt tell me that:-(  hug u

          I dont want to disturb u

          I ll be more worried in this way:-(

        dont be please, it ll be ok everything

        u said u know everyting , but u dont knw me at all...

        I  hug u and kiss y for everything u do for me 【heart】

       I know, but please let me know what happened in the future, please. I dont want to hug and kiss now, just need to know what happened... promise me ,please

       I  promise

       Thanks! miss u so much 【heart】dont worry about me, have good rest, i ll be here waiting f u

      I hug, kiss you  and everything u wish and anything u dream about

      Thank u!! I want u to know that you are in everthing I hope for and dream of.

17.10  Thur. 

20:33 Is the appetite a little better today?

            yea, Its  much better appetite:-)

           great! what didi u eat?want to make sth. to eat for u。。。

           Maybe tomorrow we ll see each other :-)

            :-) :-)

           tell u a good news , little yellow began to live in the wooden house that u made  :-), black still sleep on the heysatcks, we could put another house for her under the tree maybe in the future ,what do u think?

         yea, we ll do like that

         u r so nice   :-) :-) yellow and black is waiting f u, cats waiting f u as well, all of us r waiting f u my superman 【heart】

         第一次17天未见

18.10  Fri. 15:06

Hey,hope I didnt disturb u. h do u feel doday? tired after taken the medcine? have u received that test results?

16:46  Hi there , I m planning to come over about 20min

Hey, how about u parking directly at the beach? I m at beach

ok ,I will. I ll send u a message when I come

ok

meet at beach. summer h.h crazy ml

19.10  SAT.

12:34  Hi , the guy for the door is coming over in 30min

will u come?

yea

中午来确定了大门计划安装大门

change g. h caf 

20.10  Sun.

I missu

u should be happy cus I think about u f almost 24/7

U have influence on everything  around  us and to my mind

23.10 see working in machine when passing by 🏠

24.10 morning beach h a k

28.10 communication deeply

30.10 Wed 11:35

Warm Reminder: Dear Mr. Nemanja Lukic, if u keep busy like this, MS. Robin who lives in Medjuvrsja will probabaly forget u completely. In order to avoid this  situation happens, please balance your work and life while maintaining a healthy schedule. Wish u a happy life and all the best! Sincere regards form Medjuvrsja!

19:28  Hi ... Im just now come in Cacak , I was in Kraljevo, hru?

             Except that miss u so much all the time, everything else is fine... hows everything going?

            I m too busy this days. I ll try to come over there tomorrow. But I cant promiss u . I wish so much to see u 

            Whatever how busy u r, take care! I understand u and thank u tell me that! hug and kiss u!

1.11 湖边树下树熊抱亲吻,桃心前亲吻

18:19  Im coming over there for about 20min

               ok, I m at beach

21:26 hope u didnt get cold, I was such careless that didnt notice u were wearing less....if u feel any unwell, try some hot ginger lemon ,please

2.11.

6:20 The dogs r good, they get along well , didnt pee and poop anywehere, and the cafe was warm also, I can leave them stay in if they want in the future. how about u?dont feel uncomfortable, do u?

3.11 

12:48: I 'm learning to keep balance between miss u and not disturb u ,but I still want to tell u that I miss u

13:51 : I miss u to, too much, I hug and kiss u 【heatr】

Hug u, when I miss u, I realised the smile in my face, I wonder how about u ?

Same, whenever I think about u and us

How I wish everything will be settle down soon! I always be here to support and accompany with u , I know u can feel it ,kiss u 

4.11  6:46

Rada really got experience, she let mace live in the room next to her. mace and dogs all got the places to spent the cold night now:-), ist just the guy who told me want to start a day with a cup of coffee with me not here:-(

6.11   9:30(这是第一次直接要回应,那时他还在热恋期,会回应,但已经开始慢慢间隔一两天、两三天了)

三天之后主动发 Hi,  I mis u too much

But how can someone miss another one without even saying hello for days?

sorry, I m little busy this days.

Even have no time to say hi.

10:45  sorry , I have time to say hi (一直在迁就我

15:03     sorry for mu delayed reply, I just finished mu job on line . your morning and good night is one of the most important thing for me

8.11  7:00  

Maybe its cus I missed u so much, that I dreamed about u last night...

I miss u to, and maybe cus of that we r meeting in your dreams

I dont want to meet u that way. U said thank me for chose to stay here, I didnt tell u that it was cus u gave me the faith to stay. But if we just miss each other in this way , then we can miss each other in any corner of the earth. Ther is no difference whether I am in cacak or not...

You're you are right. I agree with u. and I will try to change that in near future

can I trust you?

you can. you know that you can 【heart】

12:30

My dad said that I always put myself into big adventures of my life, but I know thats my way to live. I know I must live following my heart, but sometimes, my mind would doubt my choice. I know I will trust u , cus my heart told me u r the guy to be trusted, my superman,Hug u!【heart】

13:51  小猫死了

15:12  I ll come over tomorrow morning

                  ok

10.11   8:36

Morning.Thank you for the meal and everything you prepared for me

Mornin g, u got up early today, I dont need to worry about u now :-)

---------------------------

RAY 回国后,回避第一次

11.11 didn't inform me to take 🐱 with Marko. come to see mes. find I was sad  . sms

15:37: do u need sth. for that allergic?

                    no, thx, I need to observe f few more days

                    If u need anything please let me know

                   Thank u, it would be more convenient that ask Sava or Nata bring sth. back. u r                         such busy, just focus on your stuff , please.

12.11  

12:19  Do u need anything? I ll come over  there in 20min

               No , thanks, I was in Cafe just now

18:20  h r u ?    

            which aspect do u mean?I went to lock the door of cafe just now

             I mean in any aspect how a r u? Thank u for taking care of everything. you are                         amazing

          Check Viber, I running out of SMS

          ok

         some aspect good ,some bad

         nothing need to thank, just hope dogs have a good place to stay, and that's your place, u provide them the place, I did nothing

       what aspect you feel bad...!?

        Even if I tell u, the situationg may not be better. and I thought u know, u re such smart and also got some connection with me...... but you always ask questions with answers

       I think it will be better if u tell me what u feel .

(I ve told u many time, but nothing has changed... u said u know what I feel but u still following your way)

       yea, I know and I feel u, and I want to hug u

(I think I m very adaptable, I getting used to only miss , without saying a word and without meet . I just want to learn from you and I think I can do it as well as you!)

I wish to  have more time for us,But now I dont., but I also miss u too much.我希望有更多时间陪伴你,但现在我做不到。但我也很想念你。

This is not the point!! I always support and understand u! the point is, I felt disrespect. u always told me sth, but u dont even give me a word when u cant made it. I think we should at least maintain the most basic courtesy with strangers. you are such a gentleman, how could you not understand?

   I  understand everything

The cruelest thing for me is that you always understand everything, but you still always treat me in your way.        

but, I dont do that any reason to hurt you.但是,我不会那样做,没有理由伤害你。

I  know, but I feel hurt, that was my feeling.

My life is comlicated at this period of time我目前的处境相当复杂。

I understand and I try my best dont to bother u !! I hope you can share your life to me, or at least give me a response although I cant help anything, but at least, it make me feel you re not pushing me out of the door of your heart

Im so sorry

讲了伏亮的事 our upbringing teaches us how to react to things, how to express ourselves, and how to love. I m always learning to balance them all , but its hard sometims. Its so diftcult to balance not disturbing others ,trusting others , and expressing our feelings

I understand why you feel like this in our relationgs.我明白你为什么在我们的关系中有这种感觉。

thanks ,thats the reason

you r so nice and kind你真是太好了,太善良了。

but sometimes I cant even doing things well

you do everything great

I m trying

 I see, Just keep going like that

接着问了RAY回去以后的事情,说了MARKO和DRGON的事情

I must have slowed down your work today, so in return, i ll give you  a big hug

I hug u and kiss u

good night

good night

after that. say morning and good night everyday

13.11    9:05   goog morning  【heart】

                              morning! 【heart】 thank you f remember say morning to me【hug】

                               I wish to kiss u and hug u all night

                                me too

                                Maybe if u have time for us this in next few days...

                                If u have time ,u r busy man

                                I ll find time for us

15.11 the first time call me "my girl" in vibe

18.11 from 21:20-0:50 creazy kiss hug m sweet l 5 times chat deeply

---------------------------------

回避第二次

21.11the first  time chatting by call at 22:00

24.11 2024nd fix fireplace in café, hak in café, ml  2nd times at home ,the first time spento Sunday night till 00:30,chat deeply, snuggle with each other slept around 2 hours, drink pare soup, goodbye kiss

1.12.2024 the 2nd time to spent Sunday at 22:00. Send message” I need you !” talk sth. deeply in heart. creazy kiss and ml  , the first time memtioned the word “love” I love your smile. bought a present protect spry to me:-D

7.12.2024  buy eyedrop to me, drop it for me, I need you ! ML

8.12.2024 gethering with Milan and Nino, Sunshine came to make fire for cats but didn’t tell me , I got mad at  him ,

(I didn’t reply his viber ,this is the first time he realized I really got mad…)

10.12.2024 


11.12 2024 call me on the way form another city ,  I learnt how to make fire in café, Ml only once, stay half an hour

19.12.2024 called 50 mins, the first time say “I love you”

30.12.2024 come in the early evening around 17:00 , ml ,say I love you


2025年:

6.1.2025 the first time meet around 07:00 ,their Christmas eve , come with a golden tree, make love in the moring , and take dog to see doctor, say will pick up the golden tree,but didnt come

8.1.2025 19:00 come over with Marko fix the handle of fireplace and change the lamp, tell me  the dog is surviving.

12.1 2025 14:40 first time come in the afternoon, fix the handle and gate lamps,  tell me this is the last day to see the doctor, ml 3 times, burned the golden tree.

14.1. 2025 the first time we meet 3 times in one day . he came to pick me up to town at 11:00 , around 13:00 call me Marko want to invite us to his place to drink a cup of coffee, come to Lidl to pick me up an went to Marko’s place. We go back home around 15:00, and 17:00 ,he carry 10 pallets to café and made the fire to dogs. Come home drink the cucumber jucice. The first time drink the celery juice in the morning and cucumber jucice in one day ,and went to Belgrade around 17:30 

15.1.2025 call me cus the guy want to come to check and fix the waste pipe. come over at 12:30, he and Luba talk with the guy ,I was listening , its pretty cold ,he ask me go inside ,but I still insist with them together. After the guy went out ,he come to my place , he is poker face outside but when he come into the entrance ,we walk side by side with hands hug each other, the first time make love at noon. He said he would come again at evening to brought the food of dogs ,but my friends are here ,he didn’t shows up. I called him why do this again? he said he think there r friends company with me ,don’t want to disturb me. Say kiss me and he got sth to do , I can feel he don’t want to continue ,he want to escape, I said I will do my lesson

20.1.2025  ,he come with Marko , buy the burning stuff and A4 paper for me . Marko is full that day  , but he said he want to try some sama unexpectely ,said its taste good ,saw I change d metel pan and put the fan into the middle on fireplace ,he can notice any details, shoe me the fire say it just like us ,(the 2nd time to say that), kiss , I asked him if he want to drink celery juice ,he said he want . and promised me would come next morning to  pick me up to town ,maybe can come early to hug me, I said I got visitor ,until 10:00 

21,1,2025 come over around 11:00, take his own initiative to ask me waiting for me in the parking lot or come to my place, I told him if he want to come ,them come with the bottle. He come ,hug ,sleep together , crazy ml twice. I tell him I wont leave him, let him open his heart door, very useful ,feel tooooooo much love from him.

23.1.2025 I took walk at the beach ,he came to put the food of cats during that time , he didn’t call me ,but I found he thrown the garbage out for me . I sent message at the evening, tell him that he was a guy whatever he did can make me feel love , the first time got his normally “ I love you” on message.

24.1.2025 I sent message to him to say sth about cat food , reply me in 1 hour. And sent him a picture of psychology ,he got interest and choose elephant, I told him the meaning of elephant ,and take advantage of the opportunity to tell him he is a man who can love and beloved, replied before he sleep around 22:00

25.1..2025 sent him message to tell him I read a article and made me recall that he asked me would be happy at any time ,I said I was touched cus no one have ever said that to me . and call him my elephant , he repled by heart

27.1.2025 I took a walk at the beach at noon, when I came back ,I saw his track , he help Rada to transfer some woods. It’s a supervise for me ,he said he rang the ringbell ,but noboday in , and in 23.1 as the same ,he thought I may sleep .

He ask me if I am ok ,I said ok ,only thing is my arm getting worse ,he said he will buy some cream for me ,and shoe me that medicine’s picture.

I asked him if he got time tomorrow ,he even didnit ask me why and said he will find some time derectely. I said it’s the eve of spring festival , generally we spent with family , I hope he could company me , he said Lets celebrate and he will buy some fireworks.

I make coffee to him ,he said it can be boiled a litllte bit more time . then creazy kiss and ml once ,and said “I love you too “, miss me so much. Ask him want to me call him superman or elephant ,he said super elephant:-0

 help me fixed the handle of fireplace.

Buy the bread for me in the inventing ,go with Maroko to finish sth. And said will come tomorrow with all of stuff. We meet twice in a day 😊

28.1.2025 除夕,一大早就和 Marko 送来鸡蛋蘑菇和香蕉,那个知道我喜欢许愿的傻瓜,竟然心有灵犀地买来一沓孔明灯(8个),我开心地当着 Marko 的面拥抱他。中午又看见他们过来,Marko 喂猫,他们来拿耙子,说还要去干活。下午不到五点发信息问hru,我心里感觉会有变化,隐约觉得不舒服,但依然选择相信。果真情况有一些变化,晚上他要去克拉咧我给 Tianna 寄材料,但看到我说晚饭好了,他依然选择先来陪我过除夕,然后再去。我说感谢他能来,我非常开心,他说这是他的荣幸。每样菜尝了一点,最喜欢虾片,甜米饭和西米露。h a k,疯狂 ml 3 次。让他稍微休息会,我准备好一切叫他起来,差不多 22:30 离开

29.1.2025 给他发了年夜饭和我们的第一张自拍照,他点了赞

30.1.2025 我在湖边散步时打电话给我,说中午有事要过来,顺便把药膏带来,跟邻居谈完事后过来我正在生壁炉,他帮我一下子就生好了,因为赶时间,都没进来,喝了柠檬水,帮我擦了药膏,细心地包上,拥抱亲吻,使劲亲亲亲,我知道他舍不得走

31.1.2025 中午给他发信息问他是否介意 Sava 一家来家里吃火锅,他说没关系,我需要人陪也需要朋友,我说有时更喜欢一个人独处,唯一想见的人就是他,而且我也想慢慢和邻居们保持距离,不要走太近,就像他说的那样,她说我的女孩长大了,第一次在 hug and kiss you 后面加了一句 and love you!

1.2.2025 去超市购物,因为道路戒烟,延迟了一小时才到,吃雪糕

11.2.2025   10天没见,前一天来了 2 次,放了装修材料和猫粮但没告诉我,心里有不舒服,加上 Sava 的谣言,让我有诸多情绪,自己缓解后,依然正常沟通。第二天来接我买菜,能看得出他很累,很多地方需要他分心分身,但依然答应来接我,前几天每天 2、3 点睡,前一晚三点多睡,七点多起来的,从 Lidl 接我时感到他很疲倦,他第一次跟我说自己有点困。回家后喝水休息说想我,但赶时间。疯狂亲吻,最后还是 ml 了,但很快结束,身体状态真的不好,但即使如此,他依然会留一点时间让我们彼此温存,我相信我的内心与直觉,我相信我们是彼此相爱的,我需要远离闲杂人等,为我们的未来做点事。

12.2.2025 (正月十五)傍晚七点多独自来悄悄卸了 10 袋燃料还生了咖啡的壁炉,什么也不让我做,说又两只狗被撞了,虽不严重但要去治疗。我说那就别来了我自己去放孔明灯(其实我心里想让他来,但又舍不得他太累),他说他会来,但我知道他也许不会,因为变数太多。23:30 看他还没来就自己去放了,飞起来的那一刻感觉很开心。虽然他依然如此不来也不会通知,但我还是依然感谢他,发了照片和视频给他,他忙到一只都还没看

13.2.2025

下午四点来,打着电话说约到修水管的人周末来修,看见我搬木柴,帮我运,一点也不让我动手,说这是男人的事,忙完说拿点工具还要回去弄管道,第二天早上好让工人直接开工。看了一下手机自言自语说明天是周五,没太多活,我顺道问,那明天能来么?他说他应该能,我说吃面条好吗?他说行,我问想喝点什么,他说我“想喝你”,亲吻离开。让他查看发给他的照片和视频,傻傻地面对面地坐着还用手机点赞

14.2.2025 (情人节)18:00 打电话没人接,发了信息问几点来没回。早上看了一次 viber. 下午三点看了一次, 直到晚上 19:30 看了一次,但没回电话和信息。21:30 再次打电话没人接,正准备发信息,收到他的短信说抱歉不能来了他会明天来。(本来心里不舒服,但后来自嘲:老奈虐我千百遍,我待老奈如初恋)确定不完全回避型

16.2.2025 早上Viber告诉他他约的那个修水管的人依然没来,他问我好吗?我说好,问他如何,他说一切都没问题,我知道并不是,否则不会始终没看viber。但我也没继续追问,只是告诉他猫粮快没了,他说明天会送来。

17.2.2025 我依稀能感觉到他送猫粮又会悄悄放下就走,所以就说我明早没吃的了,可否买点面包或牛角包给我,他这次回信息回的很快,问我还需要什么写下来全买给我,我说买面包或牛角包就行,其他我得自己买,因为太多了,而且太晚了超市很多菜都没有,他就问我明天行吗我说行。他晚上来买了2大袋面包(五六十块钱的),我说太多了,留一些给RADAR,他说他已经给RADA买了,真是个傻瓜。但却是赶时间要走,我说喝点黄瓜汁吧,他说喝不完,就喝了几口,心里有事,说那人在饭店等他去拉材料。我说最近发生什么了?他说最近其实一切都有点问题,我说没事,别急,一切都会好。我给了他信,他很开心,说看我会告诉我。他赶时间,我就说我去锁门,让他走,他依然在我锁门的时候陪着我,放钥匙的时候钥匙掉了,他赶紧停下来问我有没有事,所有的小细节里都透露着他想留下来,但是又不得不去忙的无奈。我真的很心疼他!晚上我发了信息给他:我亲爱的超级大象,所有的困惑和困难都会在你的耐心和智慧下得到解决,别担心,因为你一直都那么优秀,我相信你,加油!没多久他就看了点赞。

18.2.2025 早上9点多他就起来了,问我10点左右能出发吗,我说能。在楼下等我,上车时他正在跟LUBICA 打电话说水管的事情。路上没太多时间,只是大概问了问最近的施工,他说最近天气也不好,阻碍也多,不过市里有个商业区的物业他刚刚装修好,打算租出去。我就夸他总是那么优秀。

超市差不多结束时打电话给他,他说20-30分钟来,但1小时才来,我也没着急,在外面晒太阳,他说抱歉来晚了,我说别总说抱歉,你已经为我做了所有。他暖着我的手说手很凉。我跟他说了最近开心的事——周五朋友来看我;Ray的进展以及对我的抱歉和我的感动;我觉得Tiana是对的,他工作了这么久,也该去放松一下了,他说主要是我的感觉,我说只是我希望在将来的某一天,我也可以成为那个可以陪你一起去旅行的其中一人。他说他会找时间和我一起去一些地方。我说如果他们去旅行,我就去探索周边为将来的计划做准备,他说我太善解人意了。我能感受到这次他感受到我的善意了。

他说我得去看看胳膊,我说再等等看,他说无论如何我得照顾好自己,我说这是必须的,我不能在他现在这么忙的时候让自己生病,我不想给他加重负担。他说如果真的万一我病了,那他无论如何也会找时间来照顾我。让我非常感动!

放下东西,依然没时间在家停留,我把巧克力连礼物袋一起给了他,本来还纠结要不要给袋子,害怕自己太主动他不喜欢,结果他看到后非常开心,说:“你买了礼物给我?”这种开心是我出乎意料的,看来我新年时就应该把礼物给他,我总是想太多!!我说是我做的,他小心翼翼地打开盒子,取下覆盖的纸,说“是巧克力”!“我能尝一颗吗?”我说可以啊,他就小心翼翼地取了一个房子形状的放在口中,慢慢品尝。我问好吃吗?他说特别好吃,然后Kis,能感觉到他好开心。他问我想不想吃一颗,我说想,我就示意他喂我吃,他就选了一颗心放在我口中,然后看着我,我说恩真好吃,他就过来Kis 我,然后把可乐和水一起放在袋子里给他,告诉他累了就吃一块巧克力喝一点可乐,他很开心地答应了,还说今天回去会看那封信。临走时看到过道的木柴不多了,说要拿一些过来,我说等他有时间吧,他说他会找时间。


20.2 WES. Sunny

Viber:I met Sava just now, and told him you called the guy seveal times but he still didn't come to fix the waste pipe. As neighbours , all of us need to do sth., I let him call the guy also and the guy some pressure. And I also told him , I can't speak Serbian , but I can edit Serbian messages to that guy, we must do sth. toghter for our community.

After 40 mins, super elephant reply:   I love you my girl. kissing and hugging,[heart] I read the letter from you, thank you for everyting you give me

Me: reply [heart], Thank you ! and I love you!

       I met the brother who live between uncle and Luba at beach just now,and I told him the situation of the yard, he said he also want to call the guy, give me the guys telephone number, and all of us will do sth..

super elephant reply: 【heart】

20.2. Thur. Sunny 

Viber:  My super elephant hru?Is everything smooth today? Did the pingpang idea help you complete the plumbing work smoothly?

I told dad that you r just like a genius in the life, you always got some creative idea in the work,it's just too busy to company me. He ask me understand and support you, I said maybe nobody can understand and support you in this world like me do, 【俏皮地wittily】he said "that's my girl !"Hhaha , my "silly "dad and his "silly" girl [偷笑titter] And my stepmother said you are not only very handsome but also super capable[不可思议 inconceivable],you got a super high evaluation of them, but you really deserve it! Kiiiis and huuuuug you [ happy & Heart]

After 10 mins,  super elephant reply: 【heart】

I miss you my girl

everything is fine!

Me: I miss you ,too!

21.2.Fri Sunny

They(Marko and he)came around 16:00, I was take the shower just now, let them wating outsaid for a little bir while , when they came ,saw I warp my hair with towel ,he said I looked very very nice:-). Let him try my proje, he try a little piece and commend its very nice. drank the 3 in 1 coffee. talk sth with work an yard. Before he leave, he said he needs to hug me ,hug for a while , little kiss , and also kiss before out.

22.2. Sat. Sunny

I thought he would come ,but he didn't. I am getting used of it. 

Viber him around 21:00: send him the sreenshot of the chat record of Ray and me: 

Ray is now increasingly aware of his own problems.He said that girl was also boiled,and he saw his past self in her, he said that he had a good temper in others eyes , but I was the only one who had to endure his bad temper ,and he didn't know how I can made it ,and he also said that I was really tolerance.

Actually , I am not thar great, cus my original family is full of violene and accusations, I just hope that my own home can be full of peace, relaxation, warmth, happiness and love,that's it.     reply in 2 mins [heart]

Do u mind Ray talking so much to me? my super elephant?

he reply : No , he just realized what you are doing for him whole time.

I : Thank you , you are the one who got the most tolerant! 

    he became less and less depend on me. Moreover, he started to make fun of you and me ,which means he has completly let it go :-)      reply in 2 mins  [heart]

23.2. Sun. Cloudy 即滑坡大堵车那天

Viber aroun 7:00: your mace r runninig out theres' cans, and they also need more pallet  8:45 reply [heart]

huuuug and kiiiiis you for the morning  8:45 reply [heart]

当天下午5点左右和Maroko送来猫粮但是没有见我

25.2.  04:13  Tue cloudy

04:13 我梦见他,梦见在大学校园,他牵着我的手,很多认识的人在校园,我说不怕吗?他说不怕,用他的头靠近我的头,让后我们坚定地我着手,示意给大家看我们在一起了。

醒来 Viber: I dreamed that you held my hand and walking in campus ,I must be missing you ,2 hearts

8:34 but dont worry about me,I am good and I can take care of muself . u have to take care of yourself too.

Every time when visitors tell me they love me \need me and thank me, I really touched ,and I also want to use these period time ro do more for them

come to meet me,hug me and kiss me when you got time.I am waiting for you always .But you need to promise me ,when you finish the stuff of the new house,company me more ,ok?I really want to do a lot of thing with you together。。。。。

我不知道何时已读,但是只显示已读,应该开启防御机制了

26.2. Wed cloudy

【凌晨做了个梦:梦见他和Tianna以及他妈妈要去海南度假,临走前一天终于肯带上我,我很高兴,他帮我订机票,在付款时让我用自己是手机支付,我心理有所想法,但绝对也正常,毕竟不能总依赖他,尤其是在金钱上,4900元的机票。付款后告诉树先生我要跟他去海南度假,树先生一脸不开心,我的心情也很沉着,想着刚付完一万多的保险,现在又是机票又是旅行怎么也得2W,觉得自己不应该,但还是去了。大家在一起倒也能正常相处,但不知怎么的,总有一种沉着的心情,假期并不开心,心里有很多想法,不喜欢Tianna.也许是因为嫉妒,应该是嫉妒。问他为何选择海南,以前没来过吗?他说来过好几次了,Tianna 选的,就来了】

把sava跟中介沟通的结果告诉他,并告诉他SAVA说收到政府的一封信,我让SAVA也告诉他

一小时后心回复已读。表明会处理具体事物,但对情感回避。

27.2.THUR Cloudy

看到他前一晚2:45才睡,于是早上8:21VIber: Morning my super elephant, is everything going well at work lately ? I believe that all problems can be solved with your wisdom and intelligence. If u meet temporary promblems,pleae dont doubt yourself or worry about what others think of you. Please remember to take a deep breath, just like you taught me -) 【10:45回复,应该是刚起床的时候heart 回复】

sometimes , temporarily relaxing is for better progress.dont force yourself to achieve a certain goal within a certain time. It will harm your physical and mental health. you r really excellent!! Rexlaxing can make your intuition sharper。Anyway,I will wait for you here , whether its ten months or ten years. [angel smile] relax and go ahead. Hug you!【大约1分钟后heart回复,可见是认真阅读了】

中午一点半出去,才发现他来过,放了10袋壁炉燃料,把木板和小推车都放好,然后悄悄走了。心里不舒服了一小会,拍了政府寄来的那封信发给他 15:37 : Thank you for putting the board back in place :-)  Beloew is the letter that Sava mentioned from govement or some company,but he said he have asked someone and they said it can be ignore it for now. 最后一次上线17:45 已读未回

28.2.Fri Cloudy & rainny

前一天最后一次上限18:45

7:02  Morning, my super elephant how are you?

10:00打电话挂断,10:15 :Please sent me that guy's mobile phone number when you are convenient, its still no one come to fix pipe today

一直未读,我猜测可能是在上课或者忙(当然,脑海中又一刹那出现了他和另一个人在床上的情景,罪恶啊!!)。

11:30 ,我在湖边散步时,他打来,我心情很好,他心情也很好,问我好吗?我说太多共最近,眼睛模糊不舒服,他让我多闭眼睛休息,我说我在湖边看森林。他问我胳膊怎样了,我说还是疼,他说太久了,这次必须得去看看。我问他如何,他说太忙了,现在我也能理解他了,我说我一直都理解你。他说他有点累,早上刚开车回来。我问去哪儿了,他说去了尼什。说今天可能会来,但不能保证,但明天一定来,我说随便你什么时候来,反正我在这里。他问我需要买点什么吗?我说下周有时间的话带我去城里,他说好,我说谢谢,他说不用谢,他想为我做这些,我说尽管如此我还是想谢他,他说拥抱轻吻我,然后说SEE U。下午四点多,我听到院子里有声音,估计他来了,或者来给Rada送东西,但没来找我,我看到两大袋垃圾拿走了,确定他来了,心里还是有一丢丢不舒服,但几分钟就好了。想着他来干嘛,难道一见面就跟我说:“我来打个招呼,告诉你我要走了吗?”这么想想好像也有道理,毕竟他是那种既然啥都做不了还不如不见的人,我也能理解。

回避还是不完全回避,我正在考察之中,每次重建都觉得他不是完全回避,但不见的时候的表现和回避很像。也许是太自我,也许是我始终在跟回避对号入座。事实再一次证明,这么多天我的内耗又白费了,他的存在应该是上天派来让我学习无条件保持信任他信任宇宙和信任自己,让自己不再内耗的。已经无数次地印证了,然而每次事情发生时,还是会不自觉地怀疑各种。下次再遇到我要向内看,看看这段话。

这一次,整整17天没有ML了。


4.3 Tus Sunny

早上约了车去买菜,下午16:40左右收到viber: [heart]  and I miss you!

三分钟后我回复: I miss you too!

半小时内回复: hru?(通常有继续追问就代表是有沟通意愿了,以及在试探)

我回: Iam fine ,and you?

半小时内回复:I am fine thank you for asking

20分钟后我回复:Is the house stuff and your business stuff and everything going well ?

I am very grateful and glad that you expressed you miss me  today. at least it makes me feel your love and that no matter how busy you are ,you still think about me .【smile】

半小时内回复:【heart】【happy】

我回: I went to the town to bought a little bit of vegetables today. when you got time ,drive me to buy some more ,ok?

4分钟后,他回: ok ,第二条信息编辑了很久但是最终没发,估计想了想还是不轻易承诺了,怕来不了,然后发了表情【heart】

Dont worry that I will be angry with you because you are too busy. I told you that the more I know you and the more I know why we met, the more I understand you and the more I want to support you unconditionally and more love you unwaveringly. when you are free ,I will tell you why slowly【偷笑 titter】

23:55 用 [heart]  回复已读

5.3 Wed Sunny

我早上6:55左右继续回复:dont doult yourself ,you are on the right way! now is the best time for you to pursue personal success, do what you want to do ,be who you want to be. I will be here always for you.

whenever you feel doubt \confilct \uncertain and fear, you should tell you : only the logic of the mind can create the chaos of self-doult and fear, which means you are not calm enough. The heart (soul) will only guide you forward in a gentle\soft and warm way. Only in a peace state,you can feel your heart, and only by following the guidance of your heart , you can make the right choice!!

然后一直没看手机。下午16:26 用2颗[heart] 分别回复已读,并且回复2条:I hug and kiss you my girl . [heart]

我知道晚上19:00回复:Everytime when I see your reply, I feel peace of my mind and joy, Even if I can't reply immediately sometimes, But I can do everyting smoothly with this kind of mood.Thank you for giving me this feeling, my super elephant【happy】

do you feel the same way as I do ? Do you feel like I put pressure on you if I talk too much? or does my expression ever cause you feel pressure? even just a little? If so , please tell me your true feelings ,it helps us understand each other well  【2 hearts】

21:26  用2颗[heart] 分别回复已读,并且回复:I feel you so much (我非常感同身受)

22:09 我回复: I just hope I can be the one who can make you feel relaxed when you are tired, happy when you are sad, keep faith when you are doubtful and give you warm embrace when you fragile。。。

 凌晨2:00[heart] 分别回复已读

6.3 Thur Sunny

我Viber: 07:24:Please remember taking the supplement I bought you, it helps well in this period :-) hug and kiss you

8:00已读,但没有表示,估计睡得太晚起得太早,或者不喜欢我的这种嘱咐或表达

I have a friend who bought a house in Belgrada ,but was blocked by the Chinese bank when paying(China does not allow citizen to buy house abroad but allow buy a car aboard), could you help to find a sample of second hand car sales agreement in Serbia ,please? 【suprise 回复】

18:00 我 Viber : I saw fresh artichokes at Lidl. That supplement was extracted from this vegetable. of course , the fresh vegetables are better for the liver. when you finish all these stuffs and got time to have lunch or dinner with me ,I will make it for you.【smile】

and,cat food and cans are enough for around a week, I tell you previously in order to you could arrange and save your time ,my busy man 【l露牙笑】

很快 2个[heart] 回复已读,还有文字回复:

My girl,
I kiss you and hug you!

我用心回复已读,发了开心的表情和心心相印,
十几分钟后用[heart] 回复已读。

8.3 Sat Sunny

早上7点看Viber 他是凌晨3:00睡的。Morning my super elephant,h r u? Even though we cant meet,but  at least we can enjoy this beautiful sunshine in the same blue sky【sun】, the mood is changing beautiful when I thinking in this way【hug】Try to banlance work and rest, take care of your body and dont ignore any tiny hints it gives you【2 hearts】

Its  nice and warm enough today ,if there is still no one come today ,give the cellphone unmber of that guy ,let me call him.

一直没收到信息,直到4点多我打开时发现是已读未回。当时有一点失落和怀疑,不舒服。然后我直接发了Viber:no one came  today ,please give me the number when you are convient.

十几分钟之后三个【heart】已读,并给我了电话号码,

三分钟后,我用【heart】回复已读,并不再登陆

9.3.2025 Sun Sunny 
a special day!!

直到今天他都忙到没有登陆过Viber

(下午在楼下散步,栈道上遇见一位叫Marko 的年轻人,是职业足球运动员,带着女友来这里玩。想去OVCAR BAnja 的观景台。很喜欢和我聊,问了我很多问题,关于对塞尔维亚的印象,以及尼泊尔。给邻居Zeliko 给了电话,他竟然让我坐在旁边,最后主动自我介绍,我们交换了姓名,握手。临走时我对他用塞语说再见Zeljko ,他又确定了一遍我的名字,还问我中文名。)

下午在码头散步的时候,旁边餐厅后堂有个男人一直远远地对我挥手说并用中文说“你好”,出于礼貌我向他打了招呼。当我准备回家路过公园停车场附近时,那人从后面追上来,给我一个橙子和柠檬。我们随便聊了几句,他说要拍照我说可以,然后他加了我Viber。临走时在我们握手后他吻了我的手背。因为塞尔维亚人一向热情,我并没有多想。但晚上他就发来这些。(2张截图)

When I was taking a walk in the dock this afternoon, there was a guy in the next restaurant's kitchen who kept waving hand at me from a distance and saying hi in Chinese. I said hi back out of polite. When I was getting ready to go home and passing by the near parking lot  of park, that man came up from behind and say hi to me and give me a lemon and a oringe, we chatted casually and he said he wanted to take a picture with and I said ok, and then he added me Viber. We said bye with shake hands but he kissed my back of the hand.  I didn't think too much cus the Serbian have always been warm. but he sent me these just now.

10.3.Mon Cloudy
Sunshine 07:45回复: Maybe he's a maniac
                       If he bothers you ,I will call him and tell him to fuck of
我:don't worry about it
Sunshine:ok, you know how it is
我: I want to try it by my way again, after all, I go there everyday
Sunshine:I'm here for everything you want
我: I see, so I'm not scared cus u r always be my side【smile】
        Don't worry and rush, I just want to tell you what happend at the first time.Please trust I can fix it , You will believe in me,right?【他heart回复】【我heart回复】

Sunshine: yea ,I believe you【我heart回复】
                   My girl【我heart回复】
                   I hug and kiss you【我heart回复】
I : 【hug】【kiss】【heart】

10:03     I : I called Vlade just now, he said he recieved my message and will contact the guy and wish to fix it in 2 days, we will see...【他heart回复】

15:38   My super elephant, I havent used the fireplace for several days. Today , when I made the fire, all the smoke came out from the fireplace.I don't know if its a problem with the stove or the chimey【sad with tears】But luckily I have AC at least
 Its just that the home is full of smoke
Dont worry about me,I used AC recently ,and the wether is not cold

Sunshine25分钟后回复:I will come tomorrow to see what happened with the fireplace.

这次我隔了三小时回复,期间我发现他登陆了2次,不知道是否是在等我的消息~~~

19:20  I :  我总是把自己的生活搞得好狼狈,家里像着过火一样充满了烟味。不过我也觉得自己好幸运,因为你总会在我身边,像守护者一样守护着我。
I always make my life such embarrssment, the home full of the smell of smoke like the scene of a fire. But I also soooo lucky because you are always by my side, watching over me like a guardian.【20分钟内heart回复】

我唯一能为你所做的事情,就是尽我所能去保护我们的感情和心灵,我不允许任何人伤害它,即便你和我也不行。我要非常非常小心的呵护它,就像呵护一朵小花一样,照顾它,关注它,浇灌它,滋养它,让它茁壮成长,

The only thing I can do for you is to do everything I can to protecting our relationship and our hearts. I won't allow anyone to hurt it, not even you and me. I'm going to take very, very good care of it, like a little flower, look after it, pay attention to it, water it, nourish it and let it thrive forever...【20分钟内heart回复】

11.3.2025 Tues. Rainny

下午4:30左右我在扫院子,我们终于在第18天见面了。他和Marko向我走来,问我好吗?我说有些好有些坏,他问哪些好?我说家人朋友咨询者,他问哪些坏,我没有回答,他说“是我吧”,我说你说的,我可没说。我跟他说我搞定了那个骚扰者,他没有继续再发奇怪的信息给我了。帮我试了壁炉,确定是烟囱堵了,跟Rada要了电话,联系到了人,说周四再打一次电话跟他约时间。什么也没发生,但我能感觉到他总是离我很近很近的距离,虽然手脏脏的,但是用手臂碰了我的胳膊,我知道他想跟我亲近但是没有机会,我却很想和他保持一点距离。他说第二天可以带我去超市。

12.3.2025 Wed. Sunny

他本来说早上8点来,其实我也知道不可能。11点左右我还是在扫院子,他和Marko从院子的另一边过来,说HI,我也只回了HI,然后继续扫,他们进去CAFE了一会儿,他就出来找我,问我怎么样,我说有点累,睡的不好头痛,他说看得出我状态不好。我跟他说那个人又骚扰我了,我屏蔽了他,但他夜里12点和早上6点发短信给我,还打电话给我。他说他必须处理,让我把电话给他,我说那样我们就失去主动权了,他问为什么,我说如果他打来你接那是可以的,但是如果你主动打过去,那我们不也成了威胁他吗?不如我把证据收集起来实在不行去报警。他说我太天真了,他说把电话给他,他来解决。正回去拿电话,那人就打过来了。我把电话给了他,他狠狠地教训了那人一顿,说放心,他不敢再骚扰你了。Marko也在旁边,坏坏地笑,还捏我的腿,意思是知道有人骚扰我,而他替我解决了。问我胳膊怎样,我说还是疼,他说这次一定要看医生。我说我还没有医生,也没去过公立医院,他说去私立的,我说又不是很紧急很严重干嘛去私立,他说快。我说再说吧。
临走前让他进屋喝了一杯橙汁,他跟前跟后的,反正我能感觉到就是想凑近乎,我拿食指戳他的肚皮让他跟我保持点距离,他说为什么,我说你不是在和我保持距离吗?那我们就保持距离,他说没有,还是找到机会小小地吻了几下。
他们开了卡车和汽车来,我说如果忙我自己开车去,他说不用,反正他也要去买点东西。这一次在路上,久违地主动牵我的手,很久很久,主动跟我讲话,开玩笑,说正经事。我说你今天很不同,我觉得大概是因为帮我解决了骚扰的原因,让他有种掌控感和更加自信的感觉,他说他向来自信,我说好,我希望你永远保持这份自信,尤其是在我们的感情问题上,他笑了,笑得没底气,说你终于说到重点了!
回来的路上也是一样,开始搞怪,讲笑,逗我开心,始终握着手。我问他每次来放下猫粮就走却不见我,当时在想什么?他说太晚不想打扰你。我说有那么几次白天来的,也没见,他说那是真有事要去做。我说好,我也是这样对自己说的。我说你的猫见你的次数都比我多,他说没有,我说每次你去放猫粮猫都会见到你,而我却见不到你,他说猫也见不到他,他放下就走了。:-)
回家放好东西,我以为什么都不会发生。他却吻了我,我心想吻完就算了,但他开始主动,我说Marko还在外面,他说我们在里面。他终于开始发动进攻, 强势吻,我喜欢他用手捧着我的脸吻我。我说他是个bad guy ,我恨他,他说你爱我。我锁了门,拥抱轻吻做爱,他的状态还是不佳,很快,但依然再累也还是逗我开心。我流泪,他说别哭,我说不是伤心是开心,因为我真的真的很想他,他说他也很想我。我说我真的不想爱你,太痛了,你太让我心痛了,不懂得爱惜自己,总是很累,爱你总是让我很心痛。他说别担心。我让他好好保护自己,我说我也会保护自己。

他出去跟Marko收拾咖啡,我把买来的菜整理好,把橙汁,草莓,点心和咖啡拿出去给他们吃
聊天。Mroko说等咖啡弄好就可以在院子里喝咖啡了,他说似乎大家都在等他完成,我说是啊,这就是你的能量,让这里充满生机,动物在等你,Rada也在等你,他说还有你,我说是还有我,但我通常都会把我放在最后,他说你不是最后,我说我知道,我只是把我放在最后。下午15点,他们离开,说明天来继续拆除咖啡。

13.3.2025  Thur. Windy
早上10:18登陆Viber后没有再看过,我知道这一天一定很忙,也不一定会来。中午怕他看不到viber,发了短信给他:Your reminder little assistant is here, please remember to call the chimney guy【smile】

外面风太大,头痛,回来睡了一觉半梦半醒,胃也痛,大概着凉了,醒来4点半了,起来打电话给他,Viber通话和电话都每人听,一会儿之后他打过来,我问他在忙吗?他说正在开车去克拉列沃的路上,去取一些文件。我说那你一定没看信息,他说没有,我说我打电话是要提醒你别忘记打给chimney guy,他的确忘记了,让我把电话发给他,等他到了那边就打给那人。让后我说“Thank you and kiss you”, 心里美滋滋地笑得像花,他回复”kiss and hug you“。

14.3.2025  Fri. Cloudy
昨晚凌晨一点左右最后登陆。直到中午才上线。怕他忙直接打了电话,未接。于是发了短信提醒打电话给挖坑的人。
Your reminder little assistant is here again, don't forget to call another guy who will come to fix our pipe,please.
一直未回信息和电话。我知道他一定很忙,而且一忙就啥都忘了,包括我,哈哈哈哈哈哈!!

15.3.2025 Sat. Cloudy

下午四点打过去电话,他挂了打过来,我问他在忙吗?他说正在干点活。我问他有没有打给那人,他说那个电话是错的,我问那个修管道的呢?他说那人不接电话。语气有点沮丧,说什么都一团糟,我说没关系,保持信念。他笑得很勉强。我说我去问RAdar要电话,他说不用,他晚点会过来给RADA送东西,我问他那有时间来见我吗?他说有。

通常他说回来,我的直觉是99.9不会来。晚上下雨,他没有来,也没有任何信息,20:30左右我发信息给他问他有没有带伞,他没有回复

17.3.2025 Mon. Cloudy
昨天一天没联系,一直没收到任何回信。看他又是将近一点才睡,于是今早7:50发了Viber 给他:Morning My super elephant, did you get my message?cus I didnt get any reply ,so I wonder if everything is ok with you?【11:00 heart 回复】

11:00: I will come over there later today 【我13:40heart 回复】
             Kiss and hug you my girl【heart】【我13:40heart 回复】

13:40 : I would be happy if you could come 【happy】, if u couldnt, I could also understand, cus things always change one way or another, its nomal. Its just, If u couldnt come next time , could you use seconds tell me priviously,please? otherwise,  your silly girl would have waited for u until midnight and also concerned about you ,cus she care and believe in each of words that you told to her 【smile】【heart】

15:47 : I am here
              heart

我还以为他又跟Marko在一起,原来他一个人早早来把所有的被子都装好,准备搬到隔壁储物间去。我问他为什么不早点叫我,他说怕我在睡觉,不想打扰,再说我胳膊还没好。他说我肯定有点生他的气了,我说没有,他说肯定有一点点,我说一点点都没有,因为我完全理解他,我希望我是那个能带给他放松的人。他拥抱轻吻爱斯基摩吻,我们商量了一会kafe 的装修,然后过来喝水。终于能静静地面对面坐着聊天了,这是第一次超过1小时的正是“座谈”。哈哈哈~~聊了疗愈营的一些想法,他说我总喜欢帮人;聊了他对那个变态讲了什么,他说他对那人说:“从今天开始,忘记这个电话,不要再发任何东西来,否则,他会找到他,并让今天成为他此生中永远难忘的一天,对方一直说对不起,他说你不用说那些,你只要给我重复一遍我刚才说的就好,对方就重复了,他说很好,暂且相信你不会做那么愚蠢的事情。"  真的超喜欢他这种保护我的方式。聊了Ray回来后,我去住到他的公寓的事情,他说他不介意Ray住回来,但我说我不是那种人,我必须搬走,他说那就去他公寓住;聊了我神奇的被他的灵魂所吸引的感受,我说就好像全身的细胞都在不自觉地想你靠近一样,他说第一次见我的感觉就像是我们在哪里见过,感觉很熟悉,然后我告诉了他 twin flame 这个词,他说他从来没听过,我解释就是我们是同一个灵魂,我们有不同的课题要完成,所以我的改变基于此,他说他也愿意完成它的课题。我说现在还不是时候,等时机到了我会告诉他他的课题。还聊了rest house ,他说我的想法很好,他会把他的所有都给我,我说不要你的钱,他笑着说我现在没钱,等我有钱了,我把我所拥有的一切都给你,我说不需要那些,我只要你的能量和你的支持就够了。
我把被子送给他告诉他那是新年时买的,不一定是他喜欢的,他说他喜欢!还聊了房子用了4年,希望今年能结束,一切都很不容易,但我相信一切都会好!拥抱,轻吻,goodbye kiss 

临走时还要到了Chimney guy 的电话,他打给我,让我把电话记下来,说应该最晚周三能来,还说那人也知道他。一切似乎都开始顺利起来,他的心情也很好,电话中说kiss and hug you!

18.3.2025 Tues. Cloudy

15:30左右看见Marko去扔东西,就知道他们来Cafe了,但他没告诉我,我过去敲门,他在里面,看我进来就笑,问我好吗?我说你说呢?他说你肯定生气了,因为我没告诉你,我说你知道还问,边说边双手拍他的脸。我们一起收拾了东西,RADA给了他一杯自己酿的车厘子饮料,他留了一半给我,我给他们冲了咖啡,Marko有了新女友,为她买了丝袜,估计晚上要去约会,5点多离开

19.3.2025 Wed. Sunny

早上停电了,我八点发Viber给他:My superelephant, the power was off, could you bring me a bread when you come over here?【cat kiss】【12:05heart回复】

下午来电了:The power is back to normal ,if you dont come over to work at cafe today, no need to bring me bread specifically. save your time for more important things. your girl can take care of herself【smile】thank you anyway! hug and kiss you!【hug】【cat kiss】

8分钟后回复: I will come over there later to bring you bread my girl
我以为他会在手工后过来,没想到他6点就来了,抽空来的,买了2个面包,small kiss ,说明天过来

我发信息给他:silly guy,I know you care about me, thank u for everything u have done for me【heart】
now you should have understood me, u should have known how I wish to do same thing for you,right? cus I care about you so much too, and I want to do everything that I can do for you, too!!【2 hearts】

20.3.2025 Thurs. Sunny

和Marko来砸墙,把手伤了,我给包了创可贴,下午吃了点虾片,3点离开。他开始在院子里做亲密动作,和我碰头,甚至在院子里轻吻我的脸。

Disinfect the wound before you changing bandis,and remember to take supplement,please!! (一直未读)

21.3.2025 Fri.
早上10:30 打电话来说修烟囱的人半小时内过来,我就在外面一边晒太阳一边看书等他们。心想没准他今天不能来或要晚来了。结果11点他和Marko 比那两人先来。他过来带着Marko讲解了该如何更修烟囱的人说两边烟囱的状况,交代完就去新房子那边。40多分钟后又带着之后要给CAFE装修的人过来,看到这边一切几乎都搞好了。他那边也弄完了,一共7000RSD(我给了8000)。我说我来付,他说只要3500(其实今天是他钱包里没有7000 的现金)。我说我来付,他为我买了太多东西了,我也想一起付。他和Marko 今天基本上把墙砸完了。我准备了炸面包片和虾片给他们,今天在院子里搂着我走路,问我想不想让他抱我如果想的话晚上他会来。我说你忙就不用弄烟囱了,明天也行,他说不不不,他要来。

17:30 他:hi
          我:hi
          他:do you have a little bit time for us ?
          我:us?for what?
          他:To hug you and kiss you 【我heart回复】
          我:【偷笑】【偷笑】 u r so silly 【他heart回复】
          他:come
          我:Where r u?
          他: Near
          我:【偷笑】ok
          他:come
          我: you come or me?
          他:u,over in the flat
          我: In your flat?
          他:yes ,sneak in, Its open
          我:Oh, what r u playing?
去到公寓里时,家里很温暖,那熟悉的味道让我想起度假屋。他在场上躺着,盖着毯子。让我把门锁好,钻进他的怀抱。那是非常不真实的时刻,一切都感觉到安全得像是待在属于自己的地方。拥抱,轻吻,抚摸,做爱,3次。他睡了几分钟。本来说7点走,但最后9点多才走。谈到RAy回来住的问题,第一次产生重大分歧,他认为我住进去,邻居会看Ray的可笑,Ray住他那比较好。他说如果我爱RAy,就不会那样做。但我认为其实都一样。说起邻居就会勾起他的坏的会议,他依然会激动,每次的反应都一模一样,我选择先安抚他拥抱他。问了他如果我和Tianna做同样的事,他会如何反应,他说那不一样,我说我就知道,他说不是我想的那样,他们最多去7天,而我如果回中国可能会一个月,而且Tiana 之前也问过他,他说他会找时间。我说我有任何事都会跟他商量。回到房子,他帮我安了烟囱,喝了3杯水,确实是渴坏了(偷笑)。轻吻了很多很多次,拥抱,我告诉他我真的很不想爱他,爱他太痛了,总是让我担心,伤心,我试着不去爱他,但是我做不到。他说我真是个傻瓜,说你以后不能再做这样的傻事了。我就明白了他的意思。他说邻居的八卦,我说不如我们以后去中国生活,他说可以用1-2年尝试,他不知道他能去做什么,我说这里有这么多是生意和房子,他说这只是他的兴趣,他的生意在欧洲其他国家。我说你到底有多少事情瞒着我?他说尽管问,但说完他其实就后悔了,我说那我要问了哦,他说还得看时机。答应明天早上过来带我去买菜

22.3.2025

7:21 Morning huney elephant ,whenever you arrive ,bring me the bottle and supplement when you come over ,please 【9:55 heart 回复】
9:55 For about 20-25mins

说傍晚来,但是我感觉不会来于是发信息:
Honey elephant, how about I lock the door of the cafe first? If u r busy ,dont come and please sleep eariler, thats good for headache, u could do those stuff tomorrow, don't force yourself, please ,ok?凌晨一点多最后上线,已读未回

23.3.2025 Sunday

11:00 敲门,我问他和Marko 一起来的吗?他说Marko在其他地方干活,他自己来的。问我怎样?我不说话,他说肯定因为他没来生气了,我说你没来没事,但是没回信息,于是腻在一起拥抱请问,帮我换了灯泡,吃了零食,喝了西芹汁和果汁还有营养品。总算静静地待了一个多小时能说说话。他问我他需要做些什么才能让我更开心,我说你什么也不用为我做,你无须改变,做你自己就好。他点点头。说晚点会来,我说不管你来不来,都把果汁带走。

到了晚上我发VIBER: U see? I know you better than you do .【1小时后 heart 回复】

Heyho ,heyho,my honey digs hole for himself almost everyday【捂脸笑和吐舌】【10:30 大眼睛张嘴巴 回复】我凌晨4:30 回复大笑

04:30 U asked me whats u do can make me happy. I realized the most happinest thing for me is to saw u stood out of the door with the smile to me when I opened the door each of time ,and every moment u and me together. each of time when I recalled those moment , I would be happy with tears. 【早上8点已读未回】

11:50 左右去湖边散步,过马路的时候看见2量和他一样的车,但不同车牌,正要马路看见另一辆车,这次车牌是他的,他让我过了马路先,然后停在前面打开车窗等我。我问他你在等什么,他说等我,我说等我干嘛,他说等我跟我说你好,然后去干活。Mariko 说他们买了牛奶三合一,我说你们现在喝我就去冲,他说你不是要去湖边吗?我说不去了。

喝了咖啡,西芹汁,柠檬水,椰汁西米露,吃了寿司,爱吃,中途去房子两次,每次都说“ I must go." 我就跟他说你的语言太匮乏了,表达有问题。还发现今天不再听那个噪音了,而且他有同款鞋子,他说他有四双一样的鞋子。

今天发现了他的问题; 强迫症,被害妄想症

24.3.2025 Mon
凌晨四点醒来再也睡不着了,于是发了信息:U asked me whats u do can make me happy, I realised the most happiest thing for me is to saw u stood out of the door with the smile to me when I opened the door each of time,and every moment u and me together. each of time when I recalled those moment , I would be happy with tears【smile with tear】【heart】

25.3.2025 Tues。
早上停电了,我发信息给他:honey, the power was off again, if the power is influence the work of Cafe, u could arrange another works. Ill let u know when the power is restored. hug and kiss for morning【2 hearts】

11:30: the power is back to nomal

他正好一整天都没来,估计在忙房子的事,到晚上才看到,2个hearts 回复。傍晚和Marko来了一下,说他晚点会再来,我说算了吧,来了再说,他说不信咱们走着瞧,我摇摇头。结果我知道他来不了,然后在22:46发信息:Hiho,hiho, the Chinese saying:" dont fall down at the same plae", but my smart guy always dig same hole for himself,【笑到流泪】the smart silly guy may need more my hug and kiss to be norished【hug】【kitty kiss】五分钟内【heart回复】

My vision is blurry again, made me keep making wrong thpe 【很快吃惊回复】

能感觉到他那晚很忙

周三周四他都正常来,忙,我帮他们准备吃喝周五没来,周六早上我看见他来了,(每次他上楼梯都会下意识地先看我的窗户,我知道他心里有多在意我!)但是他却没来找我,我过去时他已经走了,多少有点不舒服,也告诉自己不上VIber了,忙自己的。
 晚上自己包了饺子,没想到他竟然八点多过来了,但那时我已经锁了门,他进不来,却也没电话也没短信我。

3天没有登陆Viber,

30.3.2025周日傍晚

17点他和Marko 敲门,我打开门问他们为何而来,他说为了看看我是否一切都好,我说我一切都好啊!他说真的吗?我说真的啊!他说爸妈家人都好吗?我说都好啊,为何这么问,他说就是不放心,来看看,我说你昨天来了吗?他说来了门锁着,我问你为何不打电话,他说看见灯很暗,而且外面有辆车,以为有朋友来,我说有朋友来我怎么可能不开灯怎么可能锁着门?(也足以正面他会关注我的Viber登录时间)

以过去的经验,我以为这次也是问一句就走,但看着没走的意思,就问是否有时间进来坐坐,就进来了,我说你真是个傻瓜,做了橙汁,吃了补充剂,喝了咖啡,然后放心地和Marko走了。

晚上,我觉得是时候说一点放在心里很久的话了,就在9点开始发Viber,这次是冒着必死的决心以及必须说的信念发的,不管他是否嫌长,也不管他是否爱看,正好我也看到他2分钟前才上过线,应该会看到——

Honey,你在吗?我好开心也很感动今天你来看我是否一切都好,谢谢你!
但是为了我们的关系,我需要和你探讨一些事情。每次当你说“我不想打扰你”时, 你是否意识到他不应该出现在恋人之间?(鉴于我们目前的进展,至少我这样认为)。如果你爱我,你肯定想迫不及待随时“打扰”我,不是吗?我也是啊!更何况,我们见面的时间是以分钟和小时计算的!然而,你却表现得如此绅士和礼貌,好像在对待一个见完面就再也不会见的普通朋友。这是我的感觉!
如果Marko 遇到相似的情形, 他一定会和我一样打电话问另一半在哪里,发生了什么。这是关心另一半正常的思维和行为。我说过:“我和Marko有一些你没有的特质—— 我们能在任何时间任何地点表达我们的任何情绪,但是你却带着你的焦虑和恐惧,这正是你的创伤所在。“
如果您能深深地向内看,你也许会看到你那绅士态度背后影藏的自我保护机制——
你意识到自己犯了和大多数人一样的错误吗?——把怀疑当成事实?
你意识到当你脑海中出现某些画面的时候,你仍然会首先选择用逃避代替面对和搞清楚状况了吗?
你意识到那个时刻你的自信消失了吗?(现在你应该明白我为何始终让你保持自信了)你不相信我更渴望见到你。你宁愿选择把你的关心收回到内心然后转身离开。你意识到自己在怀疑什么,逃避什么和恐惧什么了吗?
你不用告诉我答案,请你诚实地面对自己就好。我们不能生活在自我欺骗当中,我们都需要找到勇气去面对我们不想面对的阴影和创伤。我 Ray 和你都是!否则,它会严重地破坏我们的关系。勇敢并不意味着我们不害怕任何,勇敢意味着我们害怕却仍然愿意去面对。这种成长痛非常痛苦,这也是我很多很多次想在这个黑暗和寒冷的冬季放弃的原因。但我坚持过来了,因为爱!
深而为人,每个人都有自己的脆弱,这并不可耻,这是真实的我们,这是值得爱的我们。但是关键在于,我们决定什么时候去面对这个不完整的自己。我们不能就这样永远带着孩提时的创伤活到老,我们可以接纳父母曾经犯下的错误,但是我们必须为我们的生活和幸福负责!否则,我们就会成为我们口中的别人——那些到死都永远拒绝改变的人。你看,我们讨厌别人身上的那些东西正是我们无法接受的不完美的自己身上的东西,不是吗?这就是每个人来到我们生命中的原因。
很多次我的朋友都问我爱你什么,我说:我既爱那个温柔阳光的你,热心善良的你,温柔细腻的你,踏实耐心的你,聪明能干的你,积极向上的你,风趣幽默的你,聪明机智的你,博学多才的你,充满品味的你 ,对我照顾有加的你......也爱那个不擅长表达内在情感的你,无法平衡工作与生活的你,既渴望爱又害怕不值得被爱的你,既想要爱又怕失去爱的你,既想要期待又怕失望的你,既想要亲密又怕失去自我和自由的你,害怕面对情感问题甚至会逃避解决问题的你,时而冲动时而犹豫的你,时而充满自信时而自我怀疑的你,对外界评价过于在意以及固执的你。
至于其他特质,我将用的余生去发现。爱是没有原因的,我真希望你只是一个普通的人而不是一个生意人,即使你一无所有,只要你的灵魂能与我共舞就已经足够!

好了,你的小密封说了太太太多也累了。【偷笑】在生活层面,你是我的超人,但是在亲密关系中,我想保护我们的关系和心不受伤害。你愿意试着和我一起为我们的将来努力吗?【2颗心】

我发一段他基本上就会上线看一段,但一直已读不回,我知道刺中要害了,他不知道该如何表达,我就不管了。

31.3.2025.Mon

直到今天中午我和Andrea 联系,看了看他是正常上线。睡了好几觉,三点左右起来去丢垃圾,看见Marko在院子里,但我也没问他在不在,就去了湖边, 我看到了他的卡车在院子里。在湖边我看见他在院子里,于是往回走,走到停车场他正好开着卡车准备离开,然后停下打招呼,我问他你来了为何不去敲我门?他说他不知道,(语无伦次地),我说那些话吓到你了吗?他说没有,我说没有才怪,他说他得走了,我说你走吧,他说15分钟以后回来,我说好,我去给你准备果汁,他说谢谢。

大概半小时后,我猜我得去看看他是否来了,他就像个小孩一样,我必须猜,刚打开大门看见他和Marko站在院子中间,我就问他想在家里喝还是在院子喝,他说听你的,我就说来家里喝吧,我以为他又会带着MArko一起进来,结果他一个人来了。进来又用那含情脉脉地眼神看着我,我说别看了,赶紧喝,等下把黄瓜汁带走,他喝了几口用指头戳我的肋骨逗我开心,象个犯了什么错等待原谅的孩子一样,我说你就是个傻瓜,像个孩子一样,他用头碰我的头。我说累的话坐一会吧,他说那就坐一会吧。我问他要不要吃雪糕,他说要,边吃边跟我聊天,说想带我去看一个懂能量治愈的人去看我的胳膊,说那人曾治好了他左胸部的一个肿块,当时说他是因为太过紧张了,经过三次就好了,每次把手放在那里,他都会感觉疼。我说我想把机会留给更需要的人。胳膊的事再看看吧。吃完雪糕,他问能不能亲你小会儿,我就过去坐在他腿上,我知道他等了好久,从周六晚上等到现在。我说门没锁,他就树熊抱着我锁了门,让后我们开始缠绵,我说你这个傻瓜把这一刻延迟了这么就,要不就再延迟一次吧,他说不要,然后顺溜地钻进被窝,说快过来抱抱。还是那种热烈,这次我先来,现在开始慢慢可以我先来了。没想到之后他还依然和我温存很久,我以为他会着急,我还说你该走了,该去工作了,他说我正在工作呢...我借机说以后不能再这样了好吗?别把能量浪费在这些地方,把他放在更重要的地方,他说好。他说我给他准备了一个巨大的工程,我说这不容易,但是我不会强迫你,慢慢来,我们有一辈子的时间!

找内裤时,他过来使劲拍我屁股,我知道他爱得不行,就是怕。我说没事,有我在,你看到了,我知道该如何治愈我内在的小女孩,我也知道该如何治愈你内在的小男孩,我们以后要常常和他对话,关心他,爱他,让他长大。然后拥抱他很久很久。。。。

感受到爱之后,开心自信地拿着皇冠汁走了。他今天最后一次上线19:20

1.4.2025 Tues. rainny 

18:30我发Viber时他正在线,但很快下线 :Honey,is everything ok today?【20分钟后heart 回复】
                             I message you just want to tell u I am fine today, otherwise, my silly guy may be worry about me again【happy smile】【heart 回复】

can you now understand how u r cruel to me? either disappear, or without call or messages. when you worry about me ,at least u know where can find me , but when I worry about you , I never know where you are. u r such a cruel bad guy but still worry about this and that!!【angry】 bud guy【angry】【sad回复】【heart 回复】

From the moment I gave my keys u, I already look you as my family. I ll still lock the door early, if u want to come in in the future, call me or open the door by yourself 【偷笑,吐舌笑,鬼魂笑】【heart 回复】【我angry 回复】

2.4.2025 Wed. cloudy

中午我去丢垃圾,回来时听到有人说话,是他和Marko来了,清理一些垃圾,收拾收拾。今天一直很用心地在听耳机里的东西。几乎没空和我说话。我帮忙整理了一些,问他想吃点啥?虾片、饺子?他说虾片就行,一点儿就行,我问他几点吃的,他说十点左右。那亮点左右可定饿了,我做了饺子和虾片,冲了咖啡给他们。一个人吃光光,说饺子特好吃,全吃了,我说你不是不吃吗?只吃一点吗?
他问啥时候去买菜,我问他何时有空,他说明天或后天,我说行

3.4.2025 Thur.

早上发现厨房里很多蚂蚁。9点honey 发信息说能否在15分钟内出发去市区,电话没响,看到信息后打电话给他,他又没接,等他打过来2次电话还是没响,后来才发现不知何时媒体设置那里静音了。好不容易打过去他接了,说现在市区下雨,我们得延后了,我说行。我说家里有好多蚂蚁,我好怕。他说这是小事情,不怕,以前Cafe也出现过,用柠檬汁滴到它们出没的地方就好了,我说橱柜了都有,他说哪里有就滴哪里。他说这里是Medjuversje, 你以为是哪里啊?有蚂蚁很正常,我说不想住在Medjuversje, 他说那你想住在哪里?我撒娇,他就笑着说,别怕,滴上柠檬汁你就别管了,别看他们,一会就没了,我试着做了,还真管用,到了夜晚,就几只遗漏的。

中午12点他来了,敲了门,原本幻想了好几种撒娇方式一个也没用上,一看就是要着急去干活的样子,但还是进来帮我滴了几滴柠檬汁,看了看情况,问我外面那个钢丝网如果不用的话他拿去铺咖啡的地,我说拿去用,想用啥就用啥。他们良好尺寸,一会就切好了,铺在地上。

喝了补充剂,给了咖啡,身体接触不到,就用碰头的方式,还好几天没有听耳机,说话时心也在那里。他说能不能看着他的眼睛30秒,我说好啊,然后就看着他,Marko在旁边,五六秒后我看着他的眼睛跟他说你不能再看我了,否则你会吻我,一下子就说道他的心坎里了,他的眼皮很薄,但凡有感情流露时就会变红,当时就是那种情况。我用两个空被子挤住他的脸,说我知道你想吻我,他说他还没准备好,他说你看Marko,Marko把帽子戴上,把卫衣拉得高高的,感觉好像在遮住眼睛实际上准备随时偷看...

后来问了关于能量治疗的事情,我说不是为我,而是我爸,他说你爸要来啊?说那句话的时候眼睛在放光,我很开心。他说他去问问,让后我们计划。

4.4.2025 Fri.

我在湖边散步时看到一个和honey的衣服很像的人在他旅馆的窗边徘徊,然后向后院走了。我以为他来了,于是一路小跑希望能在他开车出来的时候碰见,结果回到后院什么也没有。心情有点复杂和失落。回到家里,思索了一会儿,决定打电话给他。他接了电话说他们正在院子里。出去见到他时他穿的是黑色衣服,Marko穿的是蓝色,和刚才那人穿蓝红相间衣服的不同。因为honey有一件蓝红相间的衣服。看来我又误会了。他们把混凝土搅拌机拿过来了,计划最近弄Cafe的地板。Marko抽烟,我跟他要了一根,偷偷抽,然后honey发现了,他说你怎么抽烟?我说你能抽我为啥不行?他说我想看你抽烟的样子,我说不行。(逗他玩),我说我过去抽了差不多10年,从12岁到21岁。12岁?他们都惊讶到不行。我说恩,不过我对啥都不上瘾。Marko说我的手指有变黄吗?我说没有,因为我没有烟瘾。我指着天空对Marko说我12岁那年,你可能还在另一个星球挑选爸爸妈妈呢,他说应该是。我说你们走吧,honey说没事,我们陪你抽完烟。我说不用,你不是总赶时间吗?他说他想陪我抽完。临走时,Marko说你们走之前亲一下再走吧,我说跟你亲一下好吗?我们碰了拳,honey要跟我give me five. 我说no,他说好吧,no。我说我要碰头,他就抱着我的肩膀碰了头。我说冰箱都空了,如果你晚上来就带点东西来,不来就明天去超市,他说好,他晚点给我发信息。
晚上20:07: I cant come over there my girl. we can go tomorrow to shopping, and how are you doing with small animals?
我说:Never mind honey, lets go to town tomorrow together【smile】
           there are still some small animals around the door of the bathroom【peak fear  
           sweat】Its a big test for me【sad cry】

5.4.2025 Sat. sunny
 9:31 honey: Hi ,my girl. I will come over there for about 20mins,can you be ready to go?

I : ok ,thank you honey.bring your bottle.
H: Im down stairs wating for you my girl
I : come to take supplements
在门口喝了护肝片和一杯柠檬水

路上来回我们都一直握着手,一路上也尽量跟我说话,回来的时候去Marko家给他留了1000RSD,说让他去买点东西,神神秘秘的。路上一路握着手,能感觉到他很想很想我,只是有点我不知道的事情一直发生着,和耳机里的东西有关。

12:30:H: h r u doing? is everthing ok?
我打过去电话说我是不是逛太久了,他说不是,他现在正好有空,问问我情况如何?我说半小时内能结束,他说好他来等我,kiss u!

回来收拾好一切,熬好了止咳茶,但今天估计还是不能来。我看天气不错去森林里采了野花和蒲公英。回来插画。不够花瓶,把Cafe 的咖啡罐子拿来用了。
发了三张图片给honey:honey, I picked up lots of wild flowers in the woods,but I dont have enough bottle to put them in. do u mind lend me your coffee jar to be the flower vase ,please? 【20分钟内heart回复,应该是在忙】

17:30回复完之后,20:12才又上线。

晚上22:18 在厕所马桶后面的墙上又发现了很多蚂蚁,我很害怕,就大Viber 电话给他,但是没接听,于是发信息:sorry , I call you too late. but I am really afraid【cry】
there r some ants on the bathroom's wall, back of the toliet, I even cant pee now【cry】
and... I forgot to buy lemon today【cry】【cry】【cry】
I put a little dug power around the coner of the bathroom, but I am still afraid【cry】

6.4.2025 Sun. sunny
10:58 Hi my girl, how are you?
          did you sleep?
I : a little bit【sad】I killed too much lifes these days【cry】
H : I ll bring you a lemon later【我heart回复】
I: but it seems like better today, maybe cus of cold【H heart回复】
H :yea
I: bring me 10 lemon【cry】【cry】【H heart回复】

下午17:30我刚从湖边回来不久,Honey就来了。拎着柠檬,我有点抱怨他到现在才来,他说你要是不愿意我来我就走了,边说边把换好的拖鞋又换回去了,他就是这副讨厌鬼的样子,就是不允许别人说反话,真实讨厌,我只好抱着他撒娇说我不是那个意思。他洗了手,我把前一天煮好的止咳水给他喝,说我尝过了一点也不苦,他这才喝。时不时地看电话,说在等一个人的电话,要去取点东西,我说人家打来不是会响吗?他说昨天发信息就没响,他没收到。于是不停地看手机。
说起前一天开车时摸他脉搏的事情,我说我当时真的只是想摸胳膊,因为那个地方很棉,他说那你现在摸就好了,我说你总是那么敏感,不相信我。接着电话响了,我挂了电话,他正在准备吃护肝片,我从后面抱着他喂他吃,然后我们相互轻吻脸,唇,我坐在他的腿上拥吻,这次我分明感觉到他比我更渴望那些吻,也更渴望确定我依然是爱他的。然后树熊抱我到床上,关了灯。最近每次我都能比他早一点点先来,一切都很完美。他很困很困,硬是熬着,我抚摸着他的头感觉他很快就睡着了,但不到5分钟眼睛就一下子睁开,我说你放松,别太紧张了,然后用手指让他把眼睛闭上,不一会儿就又睡着了,抽搐一直继续着,很心疼他这个样子,我一动都不敢动,生怕弄醒他。但他就这样几分钟一次眼睛突然睁开,潜意识就是放松不下来。大概也睡了有半个小时。他说让我别起来了,他自己起来。我说不,我要给你弄点喝的,然后带着喝的走了,走的时候会飞吻。

7.4.2025 Mon 
20:00 I: Honey, is everything ok today?
     How about your cough?is that herb helps?

8.4 .2025 Tues早上【heart回复】
20:19 I : Alothgh I really want to say u r such a bad guy who always use emoj treat me perfunctorily,but for your hard works sake,spare you【sad sad】

9.4 2025 Wed 08:00【heart回复】

中午12点准备去湖边散步,在窗边看见他和Marko,于是赶紧换好衣服准备出去,结果H来敲门,带着耳机站在门外,一看就是又在听那个东西。每次都从头到脚打量我一番,他说我和Marko过来干点活,能帮我们冲杯咖啡吗?我说恩,他说恩是什么意思,不可以吗?就是爱跟我对着干。我说过来给我个抱抱,于是就抱抱,亲亲,然后去院子里了,我冲了咖啡给Marko,倒了柠檬水和护肝片给他,然后冲了咖啡给他。他们从院子里支了一个巨大的管子到卡车上准备把建筑垃圾运走,感觉好好玩,拍了视频和照片。我说被子在哪,他说在卡车里,门开着,我第一次进卡车,里面又破又乱,瓶子在后排也没洗,我说你答应我洗都没洗,都快一周了,他说快2周了,就是爱跟我对着干,意识是就这样你看着办吧!
通过管子运垃圾的时候,我说放个木板就不用那么费劲了,他听都不愿意听完,就说那都是浪费时间,没用,我心想算了,爱干嘛干嘛,我就只帮着往里丢,到一半的时候,他还是用了木板,我说我刚才说用木板你说没用,现在你又自己用,他说刚才下面是空的,如何如何....他其实就是听着耳机没耐心也没用心听我说话。
中途Marko绑不紧管子上端的绳子,他上来帮忙,我站在砖上没站稳,用手抓着管子,他把我的手从管子上拿开,说不用扶了。我说我没有扶管子,我只是快摔倒了,所以抓了一下,他头都没有回,他说我知道,我说你知道还把我的手推开?
我当时真的有点生气了。于是回到放在做吃的。就没再去帮忙。过了一会出去问他们喝什么,他们说咖啡,我都没看他,他说这次看来真的生气了,我没理,就只把水端出去。然后问他我做了点吃得,要不要吃,他说要,然后我就把虾片和鸡蛋炸面包片吃也拿出去,吃的和的好快,没多久全部空了。
我问Marko他在听什么,Marko也不知道,说问过,他业不说,神神秘秘地,很讨厌!然后把小瓶的止咳药给他让带走了,走的时候和Marko碰拳,他也要,我说不,碰头可以。他还是返回来跟我碰了头。

10.4 2025  Thur 08:00【heart回复】

早上7点多发现还是有很多蚂蚁,拍了照片给他7:42:I have cleaned for 1hour, could you help me move the stove out so that I can clean up the back ,hunny【cry ,cry ,cry 】
2分钟后回复:ok,dont worry
I : I am afraid【cry ,cry ,cry 】
9:03:  dont worry
中午12点左右见到Marko在运沙,我问Marko 他在哪里,Marko 说在后院。我猜想他在车上铲沙子,心想都不会先过来帮我搬炉子,那应该会过一会过来吧。结果直接走了,都没来。我知道他是故意的。但也没问

11.4 2025  Fri. 08:00【heart回复】
21:59    I: hunny, is everything ok? I know u must be very busy,but I cant help your work even a little bit. the only thing I can do is to learn to face the various problems and fears in my life alone.its the only way I can make you more time and support u to do things that are more important to you.

When I think in this way , I have the courage to face my fears, so dont worry about me.

已读未回

13.4.2025 Sun
14:16: Honey, is everyting ok ? your girl is out of vegegables, do you got any time tomorrow for take me to town?
dont force yourself if you dont have time, just tell me so that I can try to book the taxi today.take care of yourself【hug】
1小时内全部【heart】回复,但未回复任何文字
I: so .... its means u could find some time take me to town or I need to book taxi?
2小时后回复: I  will find time
I  : thank you

14.4.2025 Mon

早上等了好久都不来,我都去河边散完步扔了垃圾,心想不如先把午饭吃了再说,正在煮面,他发来:11:14:Hi, I ll  be there for about 10 mins
我心想无论如何我这次要跟随我是节奏吃了饭再说,让他知道我也不是就干等着的。于是回复:I ll be finish at 11:40,is it ok for you?
Honey: ok
然后果真10分钟后我听见院子有动静,他和Marko 一起来的。 
我准时出去,拿了水杯给他。他们开的卡车来的,卡车里还有沙子。卡车很高,我说想给我们三人自拍,Marko说三个人拍不到,就只拍了他和我。我告诉他Ray要回来了,我和Ray商量了住的问他,RAy感谢他能提供房子给我们,但Ray认为还是我住在楼上比较好。他嘴上说着好,但是连续出了两口气,我问他为啥感到压力,他说没有。
送我到市中心,去交了水费,一个半小时后来LIDI接我,我以为会换车,原来还是开的卡车和Marko 一起来。这次买的东西很多很重,Marko都嫌重。放下东西后走过来用额头触碰我的额头。临走时我问他何时方便过来我要去楼上收拾一下,他就急急忙忙地摸遍了口袋,拿出房子的钥匙给我。我说了谢谢

20:56:
I went to tidy up just now, u r so muddled to forgot put out the sheet from the wash mashine, and u never turned off the heating

I turned off the heating and I ll wash these sheets again tomorrow,cus its have already got a little bit smells

过了一小时,我想到他没关暖气也许是为了小黄,于是说:or, Maybe u turned on the heater fot the yellow,but the temperature is ok now.Its just, u did forgot about the washing mashine, so you need me ----this little assistant 【1小时内heart 回复】

15.4.2025 Tues

中午开始和Marko来干活,铺了水泥地,一直到晚上8点多,中途冲了咖啡,炸了虾片和饺子,喂了草莓,三人坐在一起感觉还可以。不过也时不时地在听耳机。然后说23点左右还要来刷一遍未全干的水泥地,结果晚上还是和Marko一起来的。中间只有一小会,我们聊了蚂蚁的事。我说我再也不怕了,我得感谢你。他说他终于做到了。我说知道你是故意的,他说他只是觉得那不是什么大不了的事情,我说每个人害怕的东西都不同,对于我而言,那就很可怕,就像是你,我指着他的心说,你怕情感的事情是一样的,我们要知道每个人是不同的。我接受了自己的挑战,我也希望你接受自己的挑战,他说他接受

16.4.2025 Weds

10:40: I called the manager Valde just now, he said he will call you to discuss some details about the yard.

11点多他和Marko过来运装修垃圾。我问他看短信了吗?他说没有,我就说我打了电话给物业,他说他们要收三倍的钱,说也就我关心院子,没有再打过电话了。

然后放管子运垃圾,他说Marko本来觉得他的方式不行,结果成功了,他很开心,一直看着Marko想得到他的认可,但是Marko 本就是那种没反应给人。可我竟然也忘记夸他了。

我去帮忙,后来中午冲地,他觉得我冲的不好,争执了几句。临走时我还是冲了两倍咳嗽茶给他,拿到卡车那里,他开心地一手拿着一个瓶子,碰了头,我故意说我们的事情找时机我会根你说清楚,然后转身就走了,他在后面傻傻地说谢谢,我回头笑笑又恨了他一眼

傍晚,我想我可以试着找找人,于是发了一个工人电话给他,又问了几个人,Gojko 说他能找到一个人,周五可以来看,于是我Viber他告诉他情况,但他全部已读不回

17.4.2025 Thur
我也不管他,只是说他们明早会来,如果我无法沟通,会打电话给你。也是已读不回。早上11:00左右他来了,还有三个工人,但我就是没出去,我看见他坐在院子里和工人聊天。我去洗澡了。12点半时他走了,我看见他把2个瓶子房子外面的桌子上。心里会不舒服。

17:20:  They will come around 9:00 tomorrow
后来觉得可能他感到我的语气生硬了,于是:Honey, if I cant communicate with them tomorrow, I ll call u

I 've experienced the same emotional state as u do, the game of " finding the bottles" reminded me of myself in the past, so I understand u totally and thank you for finally taking off your disguise and being your true self in front of me! This is the most precious thing for me. however, its not a wise choise to delay treatment cus of emotins【吐舌头】

这期间我发现他会随时看我发的文字,而且都是已读不回,于是我就继续
you know I  will always be the silly girl who is happy when I see you and like to tease you always. I believe that one day, you will following your inner desire instead of being ensalved by the various self-doublts in your head, and find yourself who deserved to be loved deeply. take your time, we have a life time to explore various possibilities together, I respect you pace, Ill and I want to be by your side forever when you need me【smile】只有这一条竟然在20分钟内用heart点了已读

18.4.2025 Fri
早上工人们来了,但打了好多次电话也没接,Gojko 打电话他也不接。后来他们说做好2个方案后会直接联系他。我就Viber告诉了他情况:Honey, is everything ok? RADA ad Luba told the situation to the guys, they will contact you directly. 全部已读未回

19.4.2025 Sat

早上9点多我看见他拿着猫粮来,于是我故意装作去打扫,我在外面墨迹了几分钟,他没出来,于是我准备进去,他在里面跟我说hi, 我假装说:你来了啊‘?然问他是否受到了信息,他说受到了。但还是愿意紧紧拥抱我,亲吻我的额头,轻吻抚摸我。我说他们会直接联系你,他竟然说,:”干嘛联系我,我在这里又不是很重要。“我竟然又错过了他的话茬,没有接,直接说了事情。他说他还得去完成一些事,边说还是要边轻吻和抚摸我,我知道他想我,就说,去把,等你忙完想见我就来见我,你知道在哪里可以找到我。

22.4.2025 Tue
好几天没有任何联系
19:40 Honey,is everything going well ?
             I videoed with my dad today, he saw that I wasnt in my place, so I told him u provided me your flat. Dad said u r such tolerant and handle everything well. I told him u r really such a excellent auy, but sometime u still doubt yourself and pursuing perfection always. Dad said that true perfection is not in the evaluation of others,but in living a true and unique self. u r already the perfect being. He hope that u can take care of yourself while u r working hard. and its also what his daughter hopes most.【smile】and he asked me to convey his gratitude to you for your carefully care of his doughter【happy smile】
              Thank you! Miss you and hug you!
第二天早上4月23日10:30 3个heart 回复

24.4.2025 Thur sunny
中午去院子晒衣服,看见他坐在那里和RADA以及工人们聊天,看见我出去甚至都没正眼看一眼,假装忙着说事。我就回去倒了柠檬水拿来一粒护肝片大大方方走过去给他就回来了。过了一会我想出去问问他的咳嗽情况,并顺便看他有时间的话带一些止咳水给他,但他在打电话,我在旁边等了一小会儿,感觉应该没那么快打完,于是就先上楼把瓶子和药草拿下来。下楼时看见卡车竟然停在与餐厅的停车位,当时觉得有点奇怪,也没多想。下来时他打完了电话,我问了情况,他说还有一点点咳嗽,我说如果有时间的话我去装一点咳嗽水,他说好,谢谢。装了一小瓶和一个壶出去给他,本来没打算多聊,心想估计又要躲又要说我必须走了,没想到没有想走的意思,继续和我聊,说周六Goyiko他们会来再看看废水管的事情看看能否敲定。我问他爸爸的话有没有让他感到压力,他说没有,一点都没有。很难地,从句子间隙中挤出一句:我想你了。我说我也想你了,即使你没跟我说你想我,我也知道你想我了。他说你能感知到,我说是。他说有一些关于他和我未来的打算想告诉我,我说是什么,他说他想悄悄跟我说,我问什么时候,他说不是今天,也不是明天,但他会找时间。我说好吧,就算你明年再告诉我也行。他说那太久了,就在最近。我说我讲真的,你也知道我学什么都很快,我现在也学会了慢,你慢慢忙,我慢慢去各个地方旅行,等你忙完了,可能也过了一年了,我也旅行回来了,你再告诉我,他说不用那么久。然后颜色变得深情了,伸出左手,看见他宽阔的手掌就觉得很安心,我把手放在他的手里,他问我胳膊怎样,我同时说胳膊还是有一点点疼,他说这次一定得去看医生,太久了,我说要不去看那个会能量的女士吧,他说行,他去约。然后大大方方地说你去忙吧,他说去看看工人们他就走了,然后深情地看着我碰了我的头。

25.4早上,突然想起前一天车停在🐟餐厅估计就是为了好让我在阳台上看见他来了。不然还能有什么可能呢?他从来都没停在那里过

27.4.2025 Sun 
21:02 Honey,your little assistant remind you that the deadline of the dogs vaccine is on May. When you got time, lets vaccinate the dogs.【happy  smile】

已读未回直至。。。。

30.4.2025 Wed.
11:18 Honey, is everything going well?r u ok?Please drink more water whatever how busy u r.hug[捂嘴笑]!
 A lasta flew into the home just now, I know I cant open the door always【偷笑】
小燕子的视频
半小时内心回复

4.5.2025 Sun
10:13 H r u ?
I got a little bit fever recently, but its ok now dont worry.I miss u so much, how I wish u could be here。。not for take care of me,but ,u r the most important person in my life for me!
I got sooo many things want to tell u .and also,I am wating for u wisper your plan about us . Hug u and kiss u!
20:30 回复 how are you?
                      Do you need anything?
I : Much better . I need you!
2小时内桃心回复已读

周三下午三点左右应该和Marko一起来放了猫粮和狗粮,我路过咖啡时闻见了味道,发现猫粮才知道他刚来过不久,也许是一个人来的。(心里还是不舒服了一下)

9.5 2025 Fri
彩虹照片 9:00 The double rainbow of last evening. I miss u. if u miss me too ,please let me know.
We can love someone on our own always,but a relationship needs us participation and  interacion together. My instinct tells me that our relationship will be unbreakable in this way.What do you think ,honey?
十分钟内桃心已读

心里有过他最近要旅行的念头,还想着有机会见面问问他们的旅行时间。周一晚上19:00 Marko 信息问我有没有公寓的钥匙,他第二天早上要用2小时,说他去伦敦了,钥匙在我这里,我这才知道他已经走了。我问Marko他什么时候去的,他说是周六。我说我在公寓住了一个月了,他说他不知道,说那就不用公寓了。晚上和Marko 聊天,问了问房子的事情,他说有工人在那里继续干活,说整个工程1个多月2个月内就全部完工了。

14.5.2025 WED Sunny
10:30 我坐在阳台上,阳光照得我的背暖洋洋的,树叶在随微风飞舞,我听见它们细细簌簌地低语。小燕子在我的头顶上忙碌而欢快地飞来飞去。

我看到你12分钟前曾上线,我翻看长久以来我们不平衡的聊天对话记录,看着我们最后一次的聊天内容止于七天前发给你的彩虹照片。

Marko告诉我你上周六去了伦敦。其实你有很多机会告诉我但是你没有这样做。关于你的一切,当我只能无意间透过Marko得知时,我的第一感受是非常难过。当然,我理解你这样做的原因,因为我了解你的感受也尊重你的选择。只是,这种难过伴随了我半年之久,我知道每一次它都在提醒我必须直面自己过去的创伤。然而这一次,我很快就从中领悟了宇宙(灵魂)的善意。

我感受到能量可以穿越物理距离,我们同在一片蓝天下,共同感受着温暖的阳光洒在身上,温和的微风吹过脸庞。我想象着你在伦敦街头的某间别致的咖啡馆和家人正享受着早餐与咖啡,想象你们谈笑风生,想象你终于有机会可以放松下来休息几天,就会觉得很安心也很开心。

我用自己的方式想念你,我知道,你也在用你的方式想念我。突然,泪水就模糊了双眼。但这并不是因为你不在我身边,而是我感知到爱的力量是如此强大,它让我变得更加坚强;也让我感受到爱的力量是如此美妙,是你的存在让我变得越来越完整。它让我感恩我此生遇见的所有美好。所谓对的人,并不是我们脑海中期待的某个完美存在,而是那个人的存在,刚好想让我们努力成为更好的自己。

我们都受原生家庭和父母的影响,从他们那里学习爱的表达与方式。但不是每个父母都真正懂得如何去爱,所以我们很可能会从他们那里习得错误的爱的方式。比如,爱是有条件的,我们听从他们的就会得到爱,否则他们就会收回对我们的爱(但可以肯定的是,无论他们做得好坏,那都是他们已知和能做的一切,所以我们不怪他们);又比如,我们从过去失败的情感经历中总结出:爱只是某种利益的交换或相互的慰及,又或者爱是依赖或被依赖以及爱是防不胜防地情感吞噬等等。正因为我们不那么幸运的成长经历让我们无法学习真正的爱也恐惧表达我们的爱,因此我们很难相信这个世界上会有纯粹的、无条件的爱,更加难以相信纯粹的爱会发生在自己身上,因为我们从来没有真正见到或得到过纯粹的、无条件的爱。

你我都能感知到我们之间的关系不同于过去的任何一次的关系,那是某种更加深入的连接。也因此,我们都被这种深入的连接唤醒了各自最脆弱的创伤部分和最深的痛苦与恐惧带来的防御机制。我们都在如何才能在深爱却不迷失自我,渴望亲密又不被恐惧等诸多负面情绪吞噬之间寻找平衡的答案,我们选择了最难走的一条路。也可以说,是某种看不见的力量指引我们遇见了彼此。

然而,这种痛苦本身这就是来自爱的礼物——通过直面痛苦整合和疗愈自己的礼物。当我们明白自己所有的经历都是宇宙(灵魂)要求我们透过那些经历,从而让自己回归爱的本性,成为光明,变得更加完整时,那些经历就变成了无价之宝。我们也才能真正去爱别人。爱实际上是一场奔赴自我完整的旅程,当我们是纯然的爱的时候,就能给出爱;而当我们心存恐惧开始怀疑、试探和防御时,它就成为一个无底黑洞,别人也会感受不到爱。真正的主动权和掌控感来自于有能力将能量用于建立自己内在清大的自信心。

爱的发生是容易的,凭借感觉和荷尔蒙就可以。我们可以带着那份感觉在世界的任何一个角落想念,幻想,回味就足够了。我们可以随心所欲地活在爱的幻想中。然而,建立亲密关系是实际层面的东西,它就像想象一座理想中的房子和实际盖房子的区别一样,后者需要参与和实践最终才能收获真真实实的满意成果。它需要我们将幻想中的爱付诸于实践,它是我们共同维系平等、互助、互爱、互相滋养、互相学习和互相成长以及变得更加完整的过程。

这不是一个容易的过程,它需要我们彼此都有觉察、调整和改变的能力与决心。这种改变不是为了某个人,而是为了关系这件事本身和我们自我成长。

我觉得自己就像一团小小的火焰,而你有时像一块冰,我越靠近你,你就越快流走并消失。我明白这是你爱我的方式。但没有温度或忽冷忽热的关系是失衡的,我们永远无法以这种方式建立起来真正的、稳固的和永恒的内在连接,除非有一天你有信心和意愿成为另一团火焰与我共舞。在你准备好之前我仍然会在这里静静地燃烧,我必须成为某种形式的温暖和光明,因为我最亲近的人需要它,咨询者需要它、身边的朋友、这个社区和世界都需要它。我期待你准备好并重新归来与我一起探讨解决问题的方案。我会永远遵守我的承诺,因为我认真对你讲过的每一句话都是来自灵魂的语言。我也相信有你的参与,一切问题都能得到解决,因为你是一个解决问题的高手,你永远是我心目中的superman。

生命稍纵即逝,健康和意外我们谁也无法保证哪一个先来,因此我才倍加珍惜每一个当下,尽可能地不把生命浪费在对过去的无法释怀、对现状的怀疑以及对未来的恐惧之中。你曾说,你不知道人生的意义是什么,对我而言,人生的意义就是跟随灵魂的指引,允许灵魂透过这个身体尽最大可能去体验这个世界上的一切经历,完成过去未完成的课题,使其向完美的方向前进。

此刻,你正身处于一段美妙的旅途之中,好好享受,旅途愉快!

22.5 2025  Thur.  Sunny 17:44

H r u honey? If u need sometime to treat some emotions in your heart for some reason, I respect your choice; If you are really busy too busy to even have time to talk to me, I understand you. But I dont agree with your extreme way. One person can love , but only two people can maintain a relationship! If theres' s always suspicions(self  and other) \test\and control in a relationship, it will hurt the relationship. I said I would protect our relationship,  and  not allow anyone to hurt it, including you an me .

Dont be too far away and dont be away for too long. Life if too short an d no one knows which will come first ——tomorrw or accident.I have experienced a sudden loss , which taught me to cherish life and the moment, and also taught me to love the people around me . I am telling you this cus I dont want u to be anxious or consumed inside too long. I hope everything is well with you!

I have sth for you ,come to get it when you get ready! take care!

发完后我一直没有再登录,直到5.26日周一我才再一次上线。看见他最后一次上线是前一天(周日早上10:30)。

26.5.2025 Mon. Cloudy
发来2年前他第一次给我的信息截图给他:Two years ago today, a warm hearted silly guy sent me this message. None of us knew from that moment on, our destiny would quietly change.
Few days later, on a full-moon night, that silly guy showed outside the door of the place that couldn't be called "home" with his warm smile. He shared everything about this strange place with me.

Although it was cold that night, but  my heart was so warm. The bright moonlight that night just  like the bright eyes of that silly guy, became the direction of my heart. I no longer hesitated and decided to stay and change that forgotten corner into a "home".

Another year later, still that silly  guy helped me with his enthusiasm once again, then we had a common yard . Our yard became the opportunity for me to regard this place as my "real home". Because home is where the heart is !

Because of that silly guy, I stayed firmly again and again. If it without him here, I would definitely leave!

Now, that silly guy wants to use some silly and childish way to prove his own curse-----"Intimate relationships would be hurt me;  I knew no one would love me unconditionally; I'm not a easy guy,  people will leave me once they get to know me deeply sooner or later;I don't even trust myself, how can anyone trust me unconditionally?"...

That silly guy didn't believe how good he is, he didn't know he had some superpower can healing people, he didn't  believe he deserved to be loved unconditionally, and he didn't know how silly he was to bind himself to the narrow cognitive curse of the past.

He is just not good at dealing with intimate relationship, cus he has never felt true unconditional love. But that doesn't mean he is not good enough or unworthy of being loved. People who truly love him will accept everything about him and love everything about him. They are also willing to solve problems with him, help each other, and grow together! In fact, he is a master at solving problems. He just needs some better methods in this aspect.

I want to tell that silly guy:  No matter what happened in his past or present time made him to doubt or lose faith in relationships again, or maybe he is simply protecting his feelings in a habitual way,  but he doesn't realize this may cause damage to the relationship. Anyway ,I will break his curse!  Because I am a person who got magical, my magic is to trust the arrangement of fate, and also, I trust I can create the fate I want! I know how to use my energy to make it become into a positive reality!

I'm going well, surrounded by all kinds of surprises and love every day, and I still shared everything I experienced with u in my own way every day, cus u r the first person I want to share with. I promised u I would be happy at all times, and I did it. 

Take care of and don't be too tired!(已读不回)

28.5.2025 Wed. Sunny
This morning Rada told me you woulde come. When you were leaving, Marko knew everything, when you are coming ,Rada knew everything,it was as if I had never appeared in your life, my mind told me so.

whenever the mind talks to me, I feel sad. No matter what your reason is, for such a long time, every time when you ignore me, I feel very disrespected and uncared. All this made me start to reflect ,do you love me as a person ,or do you love the feeling of being loved and the infinite tolerance I brought to you? or, you just enjoy this sense of control and desire to conquer?
I hope that our relationship is based on mutual understanding and respect based on equality. If nomal responses and communication become a burden to you, and make you feel stressed or difficult, lets out "love" in each other's hearts as I said at the beginning. In this way, you will not feel stressed and will no longer struggle with your inner conflicts.
Perhaps, its the best way for us in this current time.Anywaym , your existence has taught me alot. You have made me become complete.My heart can  always feel the power of love. you have also taught me that the premise of loving others is to respect and love myself first. But love and relationship are two different things. I made this decision not because I dont love you anymore ,but because I respect your current needs and wait until you are really ready.
In facet, I am so happy that you could put me in your future ,and so touched that you said the future is about "us". 
But, if we cannot solve the existing problems, there would be more seriously problems in our future. At that time, the damage to both us would be deeper.
After saying all this to you , I feel more relaxed than ever. I hope you could live as relaxed as I do, sincerely!
If love doesnt bring trust\frankness ,ease and happiness,but suspicion, hide, conflict and escape , its not true love.I always understand why you did it, but it really hurt me againg and again!
The cat food is running out, and dog's vacccine is about to expire. Maybe I dont need to reminder you anymore, because I know you will always keep them in your heart.
Thank you for everything you have done for me ! What I wish and want is the person who I love must love himself and accept himself compeletely step by step.Because only in this way , he can trust love and enjoy love.
I know you are busy, but I still hope you could come to pick up the key of the flat, and the things I prepared for you in this period time on this weeekend night at the latest. good night!
写到最后时,我看到他开始一条一条开始看了,于是在朋友圈发来,至少此刻,我们是在一起的。仍然已读不回

30.5.2025 Fri. Cloudy
夜里临晨1:25,我发信息:
Its already past one o'clock when I finished the copywriting of healing camp. I was planning to disuss have a short trip when you are convenient on this weekend with you, cus its a very special weekend, not only for your birthday. But maybe its not the right timing. Its doesnt matter, we could plan everything when you get ready complete.

No matter you have me by your side or not in the future, I hope you would be happy everyday,not only on your birthday!

中午发了2条朋友圈

小黑帮了我!Ray也帮了我!我正打算记录,收到Ray的短信说他来了。我下楼,看见Marko,他说小黑被车撞了,他来找她,几经周折,我终于在它们的房子里发现了它。他就是个大头虾,鲁莽,根据固有思维先乱找。然后他从院子另一头走来,挤出一个难看的笑,我直接问他发生了什么,他说邻居说小黑被撞了,然后我们就开始疯狂在周围找。最后我发现原来小黑就在它的房子里,左腿受伤了,没有流血。RADA拿来止痛药,我切了碎肉让它活在肉里让小黑吃了止痛。 

一切都没事了。我问他要不要拿擦手的,他说不用,自己搓了搓,我说我还是去拿吧,给他后还是乖乖擦了,毕竟狗舔过不舒服。然后说谢谢。我问他宠物医生何时来,他说要等他电话。然后我说”那就再见吧“他笑了。好不容易挤出一句:hru,我说我把什么都告诉你了, 你收到了吗?他说收到了,我说:是so?
他说”so, we need to talk .  我说:when? 他说:tomorrow or the day after. 然后我就说再见,头也不回地上楼了。

31.5.2025 Sat. 
9:09 Black looks better this morning, she cames out twice and under the sunshine for a while, eat a little bit, it looks only the left foot hurted, don't worry.
10:45 video Her eyes seem to be brighter now, and she is willing to come out more often. It could take her to see the doctor dirctly in this situation ,or should we wait until the doctor comes?
已读不回,中午下去看见M和他在院子里,他在打电话,我出来后问了一下,他说狗没事。我问他们是否要喝点什么,他说不用,我能看出来他语无伦次的。然后就说再见去湖边了。回来的时候他们走了,估计不需要带狗去看医生了。

1.6.2025 Sun
13:39 My work will be finished at 19:50, if it is convenient for you, please come at 20:00, dont forget to bring cat food, they have almost nothing to eat.
已读不回,下午悄悄来把猫粮放下走了,晚上等到21:30都没来。

21:36 Hey, I want to tell you that all your tricks don't work on me. I told you long ago that I'm not an easy person either. You found a good opponent!

No matter how many people have taken your little tricks seriously in the past, it only shows that those people dont understand love, and even less understand you!

Anyway, what I saw was another you, the child inside you who had not grown up yet. I saw how hard his life had been, how much he longed to be seen, heard, and loved. But when he was desperate for all these expectations, all these things he longed for came to him. He didn't believe it, was doublt, and was afraid. He didn't know how to face it. He thought he had messed up everything and was at a loss. He thought he didn't have the ability to handle intimate relationships well, and that he would hurt the other person or be abandoned by the other person if he spoke his true thoughts; he thought that intimate relationships were equal to mutual harm...

If you don't let go of those limiting thoughts from childhood, then a whole new life can't come into your life. That will exclude happiness and hurt the people who truly love you.

Although I have been hurt by you again and again, I have never been angry with you. The hurt is real, but you don't know how much growth you have brought to me!You are such a silly guy,  you  brought me lots of growth just by being so childish. It's incredible!! 

I am just trying my best to work with you, to find and solve problems together. You and I are both masters at solving problems, nothing can stump us!

No matter what, I will wait for you to come. From tonight on, I will not lock the door anymore. If you don't come tonight, I will wait for tomorrow. If you don't come tomorrow, I will wait for the day after tomorrow. You have to come anyway, unless you don't want to run the coffee shop and the hotel anymore. And I am still living in your apartment. I plan to live here all alone. I live very comfortably. I don't want to leave because of your childishness. You can play slowly by yourself. I feel this game is quite interesting now. I want to play with you. 【笑哭】

I always trust myself. The one I love is not a coward. He just needs time and methods. And, I will always behind  him for everything I can do,  for him, for me ,for us ,forever!!!

At least you're with me in moments ,you can't escape【吐舌笑】
 I will be waiting【吐舌笑】
之后他就线了,但我还继续发:
One day, u will regret wasting the time we should have spent together.sunch a silly guy!
I  have already lived more than half of my life,although I will try my best to protect myself,I   dont know how many years I  can live.Since I was 35years old, everyday I spent is a gift from the universe. so I still say that even if I die tomorrow, I  have no regrets. I dare to love , I dare to chase freedom, do you really have no regret  in this way ?
I am still waiting .....until u come
然后发了朋友圈的截图:
5.15小猫出生;5.16 RADA做长凳;5.17 双彩虹晚霞 5.18 第一次见啄木鸟;5.18 有一次双彩虹;5.19 啄木鸟;20.5 啄木鸟;5.27 小燕子出生;5.29 honey教会我的20件事;

2.6 ..2025 临晨4:33睡不着 发了他很傻,做了一切却伤害了彼此,要面对自己的课题
说我手疼,能否给那个人的电话和地址,我自己去看她

4.6 .2025 发朋友圈截图 我问天使:每次我看见你的过往都会感觉很心疼很痛,我的眼泪会不由自主地落下。我想用爱温暖你,但是或许我的爱太过炙热,会灼伤你,我该怎么做?
天使告诉我:做你的小太阳,就在原地静静地闪耀,当你需要光和热的时候,你会靠近我。
我想这就是你想要的爱,对吗?

Hey, if u make all the decisions based on your true inner desire but not based of conflicts, I will fully suppirt u ! if u dont know what to do, I understand; but if u only want to make me mad at you in this way, u've got the wrong person. u will never meet another "special" person like me in your life【celebreation】

I have been reflecting recently, what made me care about such small thing on earth, there 's must be sth I ignored.Then I really realized that my trauma had not healed totally. I thought after 29 years, everything was over. it turns out that when certain realities tigger it, it still hurts. It makes me fell you so much! Healing from trauma always takes a lot of time and patience, just like this GIF:
Maybe I am used to giving emotional advices to visitors and healing then everyday, but I ignored the fact that I will also get lost. It made me realize that the one who really needs to be healed is not you ,bu myself!  I want to tell you these true feelings and tell the person I trust the most. Thank you for helping me see myself clearly!
Don't worry about anything, work and live happily, do what you like and good at. There's already enought work to do, I should have shared lots of the burden with u , but I ended up putting more pressure on you.
I hope everything goes well at work. Even if there are still some problems to be fixed, dont put too much pressure on yourself. u can always find a way to solve any problems on work. I miss you and I know you miss me too. Just get along with me in a way that makes you feel comfortble.

6.6.2025 Fri. Sunny
傍晚,Ray出去仍垃圾,回来说honey 和Marko在院子里。他可以帮我拖延,让我出去见他。出去后正好他电话响了,大家没机会说话,我大概问了问RAy啥情况,他说其实啥也没说,就让了烟。一会儿电话结束,我看他为难地转向看我,尴尬地聊聊几句。我问他们跟RAy
聊聊什么,他说M的一个朋友生病去看了医生。(who cares!)然后,我问他是否能把治疗师的电话给我,他说哦在旧手机里,找到后就给我。然后又笨拙地问hru,我说一切都在我的外表上能看出来。然后我问能否给我5分钟,他说他马上要走,我说三分钟就好,他说好吧,还说周日社区要开会。

跟在我屁股后面上来,居然没进来,我说你可以进来,他才进来。我把桌上的礼物给他看,说一部分是RAy送给M 和 他的生日礼物。他说他会跟RAy说谢谢。接着深深地拥抱我,我说:好久不见”,他亲吻我的脖子和脸,玩我的头发。然后我才慢慢也拥抱着他。我们直视着彼此的双眼,他的瞳孔是放大的。

给他看生日礼物,先给他看了那封信,让他不要压,他问我是否可以帮他放进去,他等下回去看,我说可以。我问他是否想打开看看我给他的礼物,他说想,打开后,先拿出来八音盒。一边让八音盒发出音乐,一边跟着唱,而且第一遍是慢的,第二遍中间快,最后慢慢结束,就这个细节又让我感受到深深的爱。我问他觉得幼稚吗?他说他很喜欢这个礼物,然后他看了钱包,还打开来看,我说我找到一个和他以前那个相似的,他以前选择那个应该是有原因的,所以我想他应该会喜欢这个,他说他喜欢,然后我把一切都放好。给他前,他又深深地拥抱亲吻我的脖子和脸颊。

然后我说你该走了,我说那对筷子RAy不知道我们的情况,所以买了一对,他说筷子可以放在这里,我说给你吗?他说给我,我说这是一对,他说是,我说这是专门吃寿司的,他说我会准备寿司的。我说我不会再准备了。临出门前还是转身拥抱我,爱斯基摩吻,一点点试探地撒娇。

然后出门,再一次跟我说谢谢,和飞吻

一次又一次的美好转瞬而过,隐约有一点心酸,但又理智地接受者一切。至少,在整整2个月后,

8.6.2025 Sunday Sunny 
上次见面说周日小区有个会议,当时也没问几点,晚饭后和Ray 去河边散步,19:00多看见院子里有人,估计是要开会了。,没一会看到Honey开着车过来,然后看见他上去院子,SAVA应该跟他说了我们在湖边,他从上面看下来,挥手示意我们上去,我点点头。到院子时,他们已经在聊聊,我跟LUBA 挥手打理招呼,然后笑着跟SAVA说你好血鬼,大家笑着聊天,然后和物业经理打了招呼,最后看着他的眼睛相互说HI,我感觉他还是有一点点不自然。
进入主题后,过一段时间他就会跟我翻译一下具体说来些什么。我始终在打量他,不明白为何眼前这个人会让我有如此大的改变,其实我知道,就是那个灵魂,始终在吸引我。大约半小时,似乎一切谈妥了,他着急说”MUST GO,然后打了招呼离开。离开时也打了2次招呼。
晚上的月亮很漂亮,我看着月亮冥想,泪水依然会不自觉地滑落。我问天使问题,但所有答案都已在我的脑海中浮现。

9.6.2025 Monday Sunny
从4号起就再也没看过Viber,下午去湖边时,看见小黑腿好了很多,而且和小黄又跟着我去湖边,我就很想拍下来发给他,于是想都没多想就在17:24发给了他,看见他上一次上线是下午两点多。没想到18:09 ,我回家的路上,收到了他的回复,不仅给视频桃心回复,而且说了Thank you .我一直不登录,后来登录时也不看他,直到2天后才看,但不回复。

这是差不多2个月来,除了生病那次问我需要什么,第一次开始使用文字。从4月6号蚂蚁事件开始甚至已读不回,感觉他觉得我太依赖他,所以开始回避,直到14号Ray来的前一天,去超市,整整2个月几乎不发任何文字,第二次触发回避应该是我发烧,说需要他开始。(严格来讲从5月9号,到6月9号,他和我完全断联)


13.6.2025 Fri Sunny  奇迹日
傍晚散步回来时,在湖边看见一辆车在等待过马路,大灯亮亮地照着我,我心里还想要是他的车就好了,没想到真的是他的车,我估计他没看见我。于是我就观察他上楼时手里领着塑料袋,估计是给RADA买的。我假装不经意地路过KAFE,原以为他应该在RADA家门口,没想到在KAFA,我故作吃惊的样子,主动问HRU?他回:I'm ok. 然后问我, 我说”I’m great!"  "great?!" 他吃惊地重复,我一本正经地又说了一遍I’m great!然后问他一切都顺利吗?他说还好。他又问RAY如何,我说不错。我跟他说今天过道里有一条蛇,他先是很吃惊,接着开玩笑说你没跟它玩吗?我说我没有,但猫跟他玩了。我问他是否有一点时间,他说有些事情要完成,我说那好吧。然后问他是否能帮我约那位女士,给他看了我的手指,说以前夜里疼,最近不那么疼,但是按的时候会疼,不知道是否和胳膊有关。他查了手机说好吗不在这个手机,说回去约,我说没事,约到就告诉我,如果你愿意陪我去很好,如果没时间我自己去也可以,他说我陪你去。心里窃喜。然后他说去问问RADA是否有什么特别的事,我赶紧回去取了钥匙,想偶遇他,没想到他就坐在院子里等我。看我走过去,我问他RADA在家吗?他说 在,没什么特别的事。于是走过来和我说话。能看出来还是有话想说,但是又憋着,我故意问他是否有五分钟时间帮我看看缝纫机,他说行。于是上楼帮我弄,但是不知为何不工作。其实不重要,反正我录了一小点视频,讲电话讲了好几分钟,感觉像是他妈妈。然后我说算了,不重要,你去做重要的事吧,他说你的事情也重要,我说没关系,这个不着急。能看得出他确实有事要去做。离开前在厨房门口,他还是主动抱我,吻了我的额头,碰碰我的头,我说你真是个傻瓜,送他出门时,yellow真的卧在门口。
虽然只是短暂的见面,但是我依然能感受到他还是爱我,但还是有内心的东西需要整理。

14.6.2025 Sat Sunny
下午2点上楼睡觉,4点多醒来下楼后,看见院子的坑居然填好了。Honey之前送工人来,还给够买了罐头,五点前又来接工人,在窗下和工人说话,我虽然没出去,但看见他中午上线一直没再上,就知道他一直再东奔西跑地忙。

15.6.2025 Sunday Sunny

傍晚和RAY去湖边散步回来时看见H在院子里,原以为是和M,结果是量咖啡座椅尺寸的人。我到咖啡把修坑的钱给了他,让他一并交给Luba,虽然只有三言两语,但他跟我说了一点东西,也答应我转交钱,然后我就主动走了,他还说了一句see you , 我也回了一句,也谢谢他为坑所做的一切。

19.6 2025
发了狗跟我湖边散步的视频
Black id much better.I dont want them to always following me to the beach,its dangerous for them to cross the road ,but they always following me 。。。。。

Please remember to bring some cats food recently. I put them the last some dry food  before I  left Cacak ,I estimate they should have finished it soon in these days.But there are still some cans there. If you have bought food for them , ignore my message ,please.【已读不回】

21.6.2025
发了18好朋友圈截图 I know even if you want to know where I went , u wont ask me,even if you have countless guesses in your mind,huh :-D But if one day , u can take your initiative to ask me , I would be very happy. To me, its a normal care and concern.
然后发了2个滑翔伞视频:
My friend sent me videos yesterday . In my first try, the wind was so strong that pulled me to the opposite direction of the start direction and I fell down. But I wasnt hurt, they let me dressed like a bear , hahah。。。。 I like the self who can gets up where fall down.【小机器超人】

22.6.2025
I want to open the balcony door to let in more fresh air in summer,but for stop swallow and insects fly in , what do u think installing a simple screen window?【一小时内已读不回】
傍晚发了图片
I have some left over material and dont need a metal frame,nor will it leave glue on the door frame that is diffcult ro remove. do u think this way is feasible?【晚上已读不回】

23.6.2025
20:45  I  wont misunderstand u cus of your reaction, I am glad both of us can be our ture self. we r both trying our best to reconcile with our past self. I can also see that u 've been try your best, its not easy . In my eys, only brave man would work hard to face the inner conflict and struggles.

I am also glad to find myself back. have my space and friends. So u dont have to worry about anyting. when u r busy , remember ro take a few deep breaths, just like when we r hugging. Feeling more sunshine or breeze on your face can relieve stress and anxiety.

About screen window, if u have any other better ideas, please let me know. or , is it ok for u if u dont object my idea, I ll do it according my idea first? Its great if u want to make it with me together, and its also no problem for me to do it by myself if u dont have time.

24.6.2025
昨晚发完之后我一直没登陆,直到傍晚七点多出门时,发现手机响了,是Honey 的Viber。可是发送的时间却是下午15:26,严重延迟了。我猜又是天使们 在开我们的玩笑吧?!

15:26  we will do it together when you have a time.[ heart 回复]

我摘抄前文时,看到他17分钟前上线,之后回复他时看到7分钟前上线。于是我桃心回复他的留言。

20:49    how about tomorrow evening? if its ok for u 

21:21  ok, I will let u know for sure if I can come.
(天使数字:天使正在支持我保持乐观 33:基督意识数字,它是一个来自宇宙的信息,和基督之光一同运作)

总结:这是三个月以来第一次有正常的文字交流。一方面,今天24号是全年最好的星象。另一方面,话术参照了“有边界,带温度,不施压”的表达。

22:00  ok, good night!
当时回复Good night 的时候有犹豫过一下,本想什么都不回,或者点个桃心已读,头脑想还是简单回复一下,也预感到他只会已读不回

第二天,25.6.2025如我所料,他没有来。我也没有追问任何

26.6.2025

10:53    If u come over in these days, could u please bring me a small bag of coffee powder? Mila and his colleague who renovated the bathroom in Cafe like the coffee I made for them, but there is almost no coffee powder left, only a large bags of instant coffee

12:01   回复 ok 


16:13:  I heard that this year is the last time 'EXIT’ will be held, I'd like to go . Would u Like and avilible to go with me on 12th July, Sat? its doesnt matter if u couldnt, I can go with friends.

27.6.2025 虫子事件
凌晨2点多,一个千足虫从屋顶掉下来到我的胳膊上,然后从床上爬走了,我吓得跳起来,赶紧打开灯,把被子和枕头卷起来。我不知所措,第一时间是想打给Hunny,但一想大半夜的,但还是害怕,看了手机他十几分钟前还在线,于是打电话,打了两次都不接,但是在线了。于是我发信息:
02:25   There's a thousand feet bug drop on my arm
H :           you must close the door
I:             and now it in somewhere of bed, how should I do? it drop from the roof
               it closed
H:          That bug is not dangerous
               She eats only bread【面包图片】
I:         No, I m afraid, its still in the bed
H:          I know, but I am not close enough to come over to be with you

由于之前他没接电话,我以为是我直接开始的对话,所以很伤心、失望和抱怨,哭了好几分钟才回复:
U dont need to come, I will find and kill it
Sorry to interrupt u

我光着身子一个人在床边站了很久,不知所措。除了清楚的意识到恐惧,意识到12岁时似乎也经历过完全一样的经历,一只黑蜘蛛掉在我的左胳膊边,吓得我从床上跳起来,那时奶奶还在,和我住在一个房间。突然想起了奶奶,想起了小时候,想起了住在广武门的情景。

我还意识到些许失望和怨恨,开始对比他和树先生,觉得如果树先生在,他一定会帮我把床垫翻过来,直到找到那个虫子为止。突然感觉很感动,其实也许树先生说得对,他是爱我的,只是那种爱不是我要的爱。

头脑在想一个对女朋友如何狠心的男人是否值得去爱,可内心第一时间就知道合盘的内容就是如此,他永远不会让我依赖他,他要我学会真正的独立。以前我在这方面依赖树先生,所以我始终无法面对自己在这方面的恐惧。我知道这一切都是我自己的课题,与他无关。尤其是当我发现我们之间的信息延迟之后,就越来越明白宇宙就是要我面对恐惧。

我可以恐惧,可以哭,哭完可以想办法,这就是生活,不是吗?如果没有他,没有树先生,我自己依然要活下去,而它只不过是一只千足虫。虽然这样想着,可仍然对那张舒服的大床心生恐惧。

其实,几天前我就发现我们之间的信息有严重的延迟,上次他发送的信息我4小时之后才收到,这次也是,直到我开始整理笔记刷新后才显示原来他先问我“发生了什么事”。
02:23 What is happening is everything ok
02:24 ?

我的直觉告诉我天使们正在代替宇宙向我投下了“宇宙游戏”——他们在用各种方式考验我对他的无条件信任和无条件的爱。每一次,我现在几乎可以肯定是每一次,他们都在用各种障眼法制造“矛盾”,看我是否依然能够坚定地走下去,爱下去。

很难,对我来说心的历练已经很难了,现在,还有身的历练。

04:04  就在三分钟以前,H 依然在线,虽然显示他未读,但我相信他会看到我的信息,会在心理默默地关心我 (天使数字告诉我——现在正是落实计划的好时机,然后与它一起飞翔)
然后紧接着看到天使数字   10:10    某些新的事物正在开始,所以请准备好。我真的准备好了吗?

14:56  长久以来第一次,H主动发来: how are you feeling today?
15:11:  I am fine ,thank you! and you?
晚上那只东西跑出来终于把它消灭了,于是发图片信息:I made it. Now lot it go to heaven and scare the people there 【幽灵表情】
然后我再没有登录

28.6 SAT Sunny
早上十点多给Milan发了生日祝福短信登录了一下,看他十几分钟前上线。11点,RAY去院子里,说见他上来,主动回头看向这里,主动打招呼,看他状态不错,笑得很开心,说来拿点东西就走。只要他开心就好。

1.7.2025
上一次见面是6月15号的一两分钟。三天,一周,两周,一个月,两个月,这半年我几乎就是这样度过的。
早上干活的老人突然敲门,送来一包咖啡粉,说这几天每天给他们冲咖啡,这是他们的心意。我发信息给H,看到他几分钟前上线了好几次:9:47:Mila and his colleague who are renovating the Cafe are the most special workers I have ever met. They said that I made coffee for them everyday , and for express theres' gratitude, they present me coffee power today, and Mila always returened the cups back, which touched me so much!【没想到4分钟内就桃心回复了。】

4.7.2025:三个月后的第一次主动询问,来家里,和亲密
音乐节的事情9天了,没有任何回复,所以我今天发了信息,看到H是12:42上线,
13:40 Do u have decision of EXIT FESTIVAL ?Whatever what your descision is, it's fine with me. 

13:42   I plan to take at leaset 2 days in Novi Sad, cus I want to have a short trip around there.I need your decision cus I need to buy tickets and book airbnb previously, its hard to book in this period time.
我以为他不会那么快看,但14:00他就已经已读了,并且一直在线。

晚上19:25登录,我21:21发信息:Lets play a game: reply 1 means you want to go with me ; reply 2means you want to go but you are too busy so that you cant go; reply 3 means you still need 1-2days to think about it

所有的星座指引或者经验都必须给予个体差异之上,没有完全一致的。就像我昨晚发完信息后,H一直没回,我一直在琢磨,然后一遍遍地写回复.

5.7.2025:(从6月13到7月5号,又差不多三周)
突然就在15:58 收到信息 How are you?  is everything ok? 
我猜他要么会来要么已经来了,所以赶紧跑去阳台,一看原来他在楼下和RADA坐在院子里。
我4分钟以后回:I am fine, and u ?
H : ok, If u say so
       I am fine
I :Great! R u busy now?
H :I am here at Medjuvrsje
I : Oh! do you have a cup of coffee time? if you want?
H : ok ,where are you?
I : upstairs
16:07 H : ok ,10 mins  
轻轻敲了门,进来后说道CAFE看了看,他们把一切都拆除了,说要洗手,洗了手,问喝啥?他说喝水,我说要喝咖啡吗?他说如果我有时间,我就泡了咖啡,期间有一点沉默,期间电话想了五六次他都不接,这是第一次。问了我好几次我好吗?真的好吗?我说好啊,你看我就知道了。我问他,他说还好,但我感觉他有心事,疲惫。我说音乐节的事你怎么想的,他说他无法保证,我说那这样吧,我去享受我的生活,你享受 你的工作,这样好吗?他说好。我说你是不是不喜欢音乐节,他说是,他说古察小镇8月会有音乐节,上次去还是15年前,我说如果今年去带上我好吗?他说好。
他总是叹气,说总是等,还有很多事情要计划,我说如果享受当下,等也是好事。咖啡有点烫,我给倒了水,问他睡得好吗?他说不怎么好,我拿了护肝片给他,喂了一颗在他嘴里,他还是开心地吃了,然后我问他说看我很好,我问“要我给你一点能量吗?”他突然笑出声,说如果我愿意,我伸出手,他握着我的手,把我拉向他。他只有在我们拥抱时会感到放松和平静。我问他“你想我吗?” 他第一次回答,“想,我的心比身体更想你。”这次看来是真的心里想了。我说那就好好享受这个片刻吧。

整整三个月以来,我们第一次亲密接触,舍不得亲吻,慢慢地,慢慢地,直到褪去我的吊带,抱着我去卧室。他的状态确实不好,但已经非常尽力了。做完还要逗我开心,亲吻并陪我在床边坐一小会。我说以后可以每周或10天给我们一点时间聊聊吗?他说好。他说有时会嫉妒我有自己的时间,我说你也会。他说要到什么时候啊?[这是暴露脆弱!!这一次打开了一点点心门]但现在是工作的时间,我支持他,因为我知道他会有大成就。他让我在床上睡着,说这样挺好,我说不,穿了衣服,又拥抱了一会,亲一小下。我说专注于工作,别想太多我们之间的事,我说我知道你总是想太多对吗?他说是,我说我是你肚子里的小虫子。走时我跟他说我下周要去NOVI SAD了,他说好。

我感觉他最近焦虑,所以晚上发了信息给H
21:56: Sometimes,when we met the same emotions cus of same stiations again and aigin, that means the universe ask us to face the sbuject that we ignored. Eg: we‘ll got anxious everytime when the things didn't going by our espect.
we tend to think it is "I" who accomplishment everything. but essentially, There's some invisible power behind pushing this "I " to do everything. this "I" is just being pushed to take action by that invisible  power. 

if we could sense all this ,it'll be easier to go with the flow , and  we can also understand there is no good or bad difference between moving forward or stagnating.  just like someone who missed the airplan but escaped a aircrush, its hard to say whether missed the airplane is good or bad.

The "house "was stagnant for many years before, and didn't you meet me during that period time? Now is just like then, if u don't rush and make yourself relax, maybe there will be better things waiting for you.

Everything the universe arranges has its meaning behind it. If we can understand the universe's intention, learn to go with the flow, go all out when it's moving forward, and wait and see when it's stagnant, maybe everything will become easier and more enjoyable. Give it a try, okay? wish u sleep well tonight!
昨晚睡觉前看到H看过Viber但是没有阅读,我就再也没登录。

6.7.2025 
15:19:H 三条信息全部[heart]回复,而且主动发信息
Hi,他的这种开场就是有事或有话,但不直说,要试探, 我忍了三分钟以后回复
I: Hi, how r u today? 他也三分钟以后恢复
H : I am fine and you?
I: 2分钟以后回复 I am great! did u sleep well last night?
30分钟以后回复(在此期间我认为他又开始试探,但我又感觉可能中间他在忙)
Yeah, and you?
Will u be home I need to come to pick sth there
 I : I am at home
H : ok, I will come over for about 20 mins【我点了桃心回复】
I: The door is open, u could come directly[16:04]然后就再没有登录
最后才知道H在16:17 回复:thanks 一个大heatrt

直到16:40 他才来,还是轻轻敲了门,然后自己进来,我在茶几那里写东西,他自己做在红色贵妃椅上,还是感觉有点累,我说等我一分钟,他说好,我说喝点什么,他说水就行,倒了一大杯水,坐在另一个贵妃椅上陪他,他用他的脚丫子踩我 的脚丫子。水一下子就喝光了。
他说要来找两个气垫床,有朋友要来,我说那让他们来这住,他说不不不,他们只住几天。我说他们从国外来吗?他说黑山,我说那就是国外啊,他笑喷了说,对他们来说是一个地方。
还说下周要让人来量窗户的尺寸,我说为啥换窗户,他说因为旧了,我说换了窗就得弄墙,他说不用,他会看着。
在家里找来一圈没找到气垫床,他说可能在咖啡,结果真在咖啡最脏的那个沙发底下找到了。

昨天和今天的这种回复是近4个月来接近热恋时的状态,有同时在线回复的时间,而且会主动点桃心,甚至会多说两个字。感觉打开了一点点心门。

而且我今天趁机练习倾听,当他说朋友来事主动问并扩展话题,而且感谢他,能提前告诉我他要来,哪怕只是一小会儿;主动问他觉得热吗?是否需要开空调,他说不用,主要是看我是否需要,说空调可能还需要修一下。

7.7.2025
我 9:00 : Hey,can that airbed be cleaned? if one is not enough, I want to go out and buy you a new one today, hope its in time for your friend 写完就一直没登录 【20:35 桃心已读回复】
 20:35   Everything  is good
                   Thank you!
21:47 我回复:U always bear lots of things siliently by yourself, I just want to share a little bit of what I can do for you
                           U 've done so much for me, and always thinking of me, thank you!I want give you a "reward" if u want...:-) 【第二天早上10点以前桃心回复】

连续这三条,暂时一切都正常,有来有往

8.7.2025

 我12:00左右回信息:ennn, I need to think about it ...
                                               u can make a request to me, anything, and I will promise u . u can                                                     keep this right until you want to use it.
                                               I've never given anyone such a special reward .【笑脸】始终未回复

【7.10在我的玩笑下最终桃心回复】

10.7.2025 

12:00 Is everythig ok?
It looks like u dont like my way of saying "thank you" very much.if so, u can ust it to tell me, dont ever thank me in that way again. I ll promiss you that. 偷笑,就在这条信息后桃心回复了我的“奖励”

I ll go to EXIT with friend in Banja  Luka, I am happy we can meet in Novi Sad after 2years later. but there's one thing ,I'd like to hear your opinion【桃心回复】

Maya once helped us applying VISA D in Banja Luka, at that time, I have to live there wating for my Visa D for 3months cus of the miscommunications between the lawyer and the embassy. and , Ray's condition sudenly got worse and I had to find a doctor for him. 
Coincidentally, that doctor turned out to be Maya's uncle. so we became good friends later. She said she want to meet Ray at this time, Ray said he need to think about it. If Ray decide to go , would you mind it?【桃心回复】

13:33 回复 (我手机静音,居然没听到,还在猜测他,我真实个大头虾):而且,他还居然桃心回复了我的“奖励”以及后面回复的2条信息

Its ok for me, 
 enjoy with your friends
 Can I come over there before you go to Novi sad to pick uo the equipment in  the kitchen , Thank you!

15:16  If I were you, although I would say “Its ok”  like you, I  still would be a bit uncomfortable and jealous inside.
u see, I'm not perfect. just like the bug incident, I was scared most at  that midnight and cried like a child for a long time, but I still decided take my courage to face it finally. 
But I still like my true self, crying when I'm scared and sad, and laughing when I'm happy.
I'm not afraid to let you know what I'm like, because loving someone means accepting all of them.
Thanks for trusting me, I'd love to go places with you when you're done and willing!
sure! when will u come?
H : 18:55 Tomorrow , if its ok for u
I : yes, is it ok for u after 16:00?
H 20:50 :ok
I : see you tomorrow then

11.7 2025 Fri
有点着凉很累,中午还睡了一觉。下午4点多没来,我就在六点左右下去放猫粮,因为第二天要出行。正在Cafe拿袋子,有人敲门,我过去看到是H,拿着4条面包说是给RADA的,先给送过去。我就去喂猫。一个RADA他就无法脱身,RADA总是会和他在一起,我在公寓待了几分钟然后就给他们打了招呼直接大大方方上楼了。过了几分钟,H上来了。我问他喝什么,他说喝水就好。我让他去客厅休息会,问他坐哪儿?他说哪儿都行,我说那我们都坐贵妃椅吧,他说好,倒了水给他,我问他是不是总忘记吃护肝片,他说是,又给他喂了一粒,然后我说你休息一会吧,我坐在他旁边给他按摩太阳穴,他说你那太窄了,他一出去一半身体在外面,我说你要是累就去床上休息下,他立即说好。我从五斗柜上给他拿枕头,他说你有一只泰迪熊,我说它都陪我10年了,从韩国泰迪熊博物馆买的。边说着边把枕头给他,他一边躺下一边把我伸出胳膊搂着我,安安静静地躺着,然后。。。轻吻,抚摸,解开裤子,做爱,这次我在上面,而且这次很长时间,他停了四次延迟满足感,应该是想弥补上次的不足(上次他的状态的确不好,太累了)。然后一如既往地聊天,聊到他记得自己第一次救助小动物,是五岁那年一只小鸽子,他把它带回家和他一起睡觉。每个三五七天他就带一只需要被呵护的小动物,他说他自己也不知道究竟救助过多少动物。我问他要头像,他说有用吗?我说我想在宣传文案中用,让大家知道Cafe 和room 的老板是个怎样的人,我们是一个团队。也跟他说了直接从中国组队,未来想把我那里弄成厨房和另一间房间。他说那里刚装修好,我说我不介意。他说他喜欢我的想法。
我说我知道未来我们还会遇到很多困难,但我知道我们都能面对和解决。
我还问他最近是不是总是怀疑自己,他说是,我说哪方面,他说所有,我说你怀疑自己的时候会做什么?他说就坐在那里等待一切过去然后继续前进。我说你没想过找个人说说吗?他说大家都在忙,人们只会说你好烦,或者你真无聊。我说你可以跟我说说如果你愿意,他说你也有自己的事要做,我说但我想听,如果你愿意和我分享,我想听,哪怕只是何你静静地在一起,他说“谢谢你”。[好的表现,愿意跟我说实话,有问有答]
我问他为什么上次提到要换窗,他说太旧了,我问有没有一点点原因是因为我,他说有。


**借助这次诺维萨德出行,开始培养每晚轻松联系的氛围,分享生活点滴,既让他感觉有意思没压力,又默默锚定每天联系的习惯,让他习惯有我。但连续几天之后发现这种方法不适用,他因工作压力还是会拿回掌控权,不回复,于是还是用他热我热,他冷我冷的态度先。

13.7.2025  发了小丑的照片,然后说这是从诺维萨德周末跳蚤市场买的,我想以后把它放在Cafe, 你觉得如何,H凌晨01:00 桃心回复

14.7 2025  20:30 发了我和Maya的照片,I sent this pic to my mom,  she ask me" who's the old woman in black? I said its me. She said:" how could I not recognized u? I mean the one next to u ?' I said" she's my friend, we r the same age." She said:" it may be that I am presbyopia and I cant see clearly." my poor Maya...【笑出眼泪】
I was thinking ... I also have presbyopia, will I mistake you for an old  man one day in the future?【带泪笑翻】
H 21:55  大笑回复

15.7.2025 17:05
我感觉H在11点左右来Cafe放了猫罐头,我猜想他会不会是来看看我是否回来了。于是下午17:05 : 发兰花照片 The small white table in the kitchen is so nice for orchids! I feel it looks more like home!
Chinese r concerned with "feng shui", we put some special stuff or some fresh flowers with special meaning in diagonally opposite the door. U 'll earn lots from your business from now on。。。congratulations! 烟花

16.7.2025

能看到他上过几次现,最后一次是16:38,一直显示收到,但是未读。估计出差了或在忙。

17.7.2025 Thur.
早上听RAY说昨晚H带着工人来看门口的砖,估计要来修了。上午看到已读了,但未回。

18.7.2025 Fri.
U  must have lots to do recently, if u feel stressed or anxious, just look how much u have accomplished instead of staring the results always. U ll know how incredible u r in that way!
小鸭子视频
Dont worry ,be happy! the meaning of life is enjoyig each of moment, fast or slow, good or bad, it enriches the experiences of life.
I know u got used to carrying everything by yourself, but u got me now, if u need, I ll be always here listening or accompaning with u in clience.

【24小时内 14:30 全部桃心回复】19.7.2025 

21.7.2025 Mon. Sunny & Hot
16:05 : Your little bee is coming again, drink more water in such wether,please. dont always when u feel thirsty,or u ll get heatstroke easily【一直未回复】

26.7.2025 Sat. Sunny
9:07 I dreamed last night that I had a beard like yours! use your infinite imagination to imagine how u would react if u saw me like that【一小时内大笑回复】

同一天因为房产问题发了一个问题给他,有来有去的回复了好几条,第一条在一个半小时内就回复了,最后一条下午三点半发的,晚上7点半回的。睡前我回复了感谢,一小时内桃心回复已读。








                        















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